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Thread: fear of loss

  1. #1

    Default fear of loss

    i find myself as a grown man in the predicament of finally accepting that i am not ready to be in a relationship . i do not have the emotional maturity to cope with loss . i recently started to feel not myself because i was forming an attachment to a female friend that visited me after 5 years of knowing each other .... i recognized this feeling of attachment as pure internal chaos and quickly adjusted by expressing to her that i needed to not have those feelings anymore so i was putting a little space ..... felt horrible guilt because it is not my intention to hurt anyones feelings but it turns out that our friendship is solid enough that she understood and messaged me this morning hello ... so i feel at ease internally now that this person is a friend and there is nothing beyond that anyone is contemplating .....


    i traced the fear back to of course my mother ... as she describes me as an infant and the horrible way i would scream if she was not in the room .... but knowing the first experience of fear does nothing to help you today .... so i have found another way to nurture myself to not be so limited ..... this is the first time i recognized the feeling as not good for me and did something about it ..... normally i would just give into the cycle of attraction and what follows ....


    not sure if i have a question , or i am looking for input from similar cases ....or simply sharing it out loud as a means to unburden myself ....



    either way there it is ..... pardon the lack of punctuation but not very high on my list of things lol

  2. #2
    Chatmaster Wannabe
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    too long didn't read

    welcome to forums


















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  3. #3
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    Hey, SixtyFeet, at least you are mature enough and wise enough to realize that you aren't ready for a relationship BEFORE you are deeply into one (I'm talking marriage, kids or kid on the way). Takes guts to say it out loud and it took guts for you to explain that to your friend and maintain a friendship with her.

    As for the issues from childhood that you have attributed to this, well, that is actually a good thing. You know where it comes from, now what you need to do is seek out a counselor that can help you cope with and accept what was and give you the road map to get to where you want to be. I know that I made that sound easy, but it's not. It's going to be hard work emotionally, but I have a feeling that you can do it.

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by twinkle toez View Post
    too long didn't read

    welcome to forums

    if you are going to troll , use proper lingo


    tl , dr , nce

  5. #5
    Banned
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    Forgive our Forum veteran.
    Meh, mature people...the older they get the more like children they act.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by Baclavio View Post
    Forgive our Forum veteran.
    Meh, mature people...the older they get the more like children they act.

    i dont take stuff seriously so i dont mind .... lack of effort on the troll was a bit disappointing but not everyone can be funny u know ..

  7. #7
    Chatmaster Wannabe
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    Quote Originally Posted by sixtyfeet View Post
    if you are going to troll , use proper lingo


    tl , dr , nce
    How very dare you .


















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    Hi Doodz






  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by twinkle toez View Post
    How very dare you .

    believe me i understand .... i have been about as bad as a troll gets .... but i am sincerely trying to live my life honestly for myself and not others .... all in good fun though lol

 

 

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