Tennis partner

C

charles_moeller

New Member
There’s this girl I’ve been playing tennis with for over 2 months now and she’s awesome, we get along so well and flirt a lot.

For a while I chose not to escalate because I was dealing with a recent break up (that she knew about) but this week I decided to ask her out. She said she liked me and thought we had a connection but felt she’d be a rebound given how short I was single for. She text me later saying she valued our friendship and cared for me.

I didn’t know how to react because we liked eachother and then I didn’t expect she’d want to be friends.

I think some foolish sense of pride/insecurity overcame me and I wrote back saying “I value her too and think she’s a great girl. However it’s hard for me because I’m sexually attracted and feel like I’d have to pretend to be friends which I don’t think I can do. The door is open if you change your mind”

she just wrote back “I understand” which made me feel **** because basically I’ve given her an ultimatum saying date me or take the high road which is stupid. Relationships are equal...

i text her back saying “on my part that’s a **** way to frame it given how awesome you’ve been the whole time. I enjoy our time together and ignore the previous message”

do you think I’ve blown it with her?

im expecting she’s turned off now and I should just move on
 
I think you owe a more detailed apology to her. Not just "o sorry for what I just said", but as to why you said it and how you realized it was an incorrect thing to do. Also, only time will really tell. Try to remain her friend and keep the lines of communication open. If you guys leave it at what was last said yea it will be awkward and you guys will probably never hit it back off. Good luck and hope things turn out in your favor.
 
She might be putting you in the friend zone because, for now, that's the only place where there's room. Take it as a compliment that she's not using you to get over another guy, or some other situation in her life that she isn't comfortable sharing with you and wants to keep you around.
 
great advice here and thank you. No she's very wise and actually 5 years older then me (36) so her advice was solid. She was indicating that its not healthy to jump from one relationship to the next, take a few months off and lets see where we're at.

I'm dealing with an unhealthy level of guilt/shame. Not just because of what I said but because who she is as well. She means a lot to me...I've tried to jump on a call with her but when you've triple text someone that's bordering on harassment so I now need to step back and leave it up to her if she wishes to get back to me...If she doesn't I'll accept it and learn from this experience. Women are beautiful and shouldn't feel like relationships are built on transactional pretences. She's got every right to decide what she wants and shouldn't feel punished for it
 
She offered to talk a few weeks back while she was on holiday but I felt bad because it was time abroad with her family...I said lets chat when she gets back but I haven't heard since. I'm not playing mind games with her but since then we haven't been in touch
 
charles_moeller said:
She offered to talk a few weeks back while she was on holiday but I felt bad because it was time abroad with her family...I said lets chat when she gets back but I haven't heard since. I'm not playing mind games with her but since then we haven't been in touch
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Darn well hope and still wish you the best in this situation.
 
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