In this article I am going to explain some strategies to deal with verbal abuse as you are likely to encounter it while online. To begin we need to understand what abuse is and while everyone has a sound understanding, there is actually a legal definition. By legislature abuse is behaviour that may be verbal or physical that harms or threatens the physical, mental or financial state of a person. There are other subjects of abuse however they fall into the category of physical, emotional or financial. For example, the subject of sexual abuse falls under the physical category, while the subject of cultural abuse (racism) falls under the emotional category. Simply put, physical abuse means harm that is against one's person while mental abuse means harm or coercion against one's emotional wellbeing and financial meaning misuse or coercion of someone's assets. Harm is defined as being the subjection of danger or mistreatment.
Outside of the legal realm of abuse's definition, every day people think abuse is being aggressive, which can be the case however there can be aggression without abuse taking place. An example of this is someone may stand by their opinions in an aggressive but respectful way therefore not constituting abuse but if someone begins harming or threatening your wellbeing this constitutes abuse.
So how do we deal with abuse and what does it look like? Below is an example of two scenarios where someone is being legally abusive and where someone is being aggressive (what everyday people think is abuse).
Scenario one: Legal abuse:
A man has been messaging another user for a few weeks and while it started out friendly it has begun to turn nasty with him with him making demands for sexual content despite the users position that they don't want to send them (emotional abuse, verbal). He then begins telling them that if he ever sees them he will force them to sleep with him in the back of his car against their will (physical abuse, verbal). He demands they pay him fifty dollars to back off otherwise this will happen (financial abuse, verbal).
In this scenario the man is being criminally abusive as he is making threats that will harm someone.
Scenario two: Aggression but not abuse:
A user was best friends with another user however they have recently had a falling out and they get into an argument. "Have you ever really been to university, you're so stupid, a door knob has more brains, I bet you're just a liar" one of the users sends.
In this scenario while you may be offended by what is said and feel hurt, the user has not actually committed any form of abuse. They should speak with more respect but there is no threat of harm towards you so therefore it does not constitute abuse it constitutes aggression.
So what do you do when you're faced with either of these situations where you're being abused or someone is being aggressive to you? Well it is very different for both situations. In both of them the best thing to do is not respond with an abusive manner if the person is being abusive or an aggressive manner if the person is being aggressive yourself. Instead try and respond calmly, however if you are being abused you should take more steps to deal with this then if you are being insulted.
If you are coping abuse online, always report it to the officials of the website, and if you believe it is serious enough, report it to police. This should protect you from the threat escalating.
If you are being insulted (what most people think abuse is) the best thing to do is to try and not take it personally and respond to the other person in a respectful manner, or simply ignore what is being said. If it is deeply offensive it is best to report it also to send the message that this kind of attitude is not acceptable.
As an ex law student I hope I am able to have given some understanding and tips on the subject.
Outside of the legal realm of abuse's definition, every day people think abuse is being aggressive, which can be the case however there can be aggression without abuse taking place. An example of this is someone may stand by their opinions in an aggressive but respectful way therefore not constituting abuse but if someone begins harming or threatening your wellbeing this constitutes abuse.
So how do we deal with abuse and what does it look like? Below is an example of two scenarios where someone is being legally abusive and where someone is being aggressive (what everyday people think is abuse).
Scenario one: Legal abuse:
A man has been messaging another user for a few weeks and while it started out friendly it has begun to turn nasty with him with him making demands for sexual content despite the users position that they don't want to send them (emotional abuse, verbal). He then begins telling them that if he ever sees them he will force them to sleep with him in the back of his car against their will (physical abuse, verbal). He demands they pay him fifty dollars to back off otherwise this will happen (financial abuse, verbal).
In this scenario the man is being criminally abusive as he is making threats that will harm someone.
Scenario two: Aggression but not abuse:
A user was best friends with another user however they have recently had a falling out and they get into an argument. "Have you ever really been to university, you're so stupid, a door knob has more brains, I bet you're just a liar" one of the users sends.
In this scenario while you may be offended by what is said and feel hurt, the user has not actually committed any form of abuse. They should speak with more respect but there is no threat of harm towards you so therefore it does not constitute abuse it constitutes aggression.
So what do you do when you're faced with either of these situations where you're being abused or someone is being aggressive to you? Well it is very different for both situations. In both of them the best thing to do is not respond with an abusive manner if the person is being abusive or an aggressive manner if the person is being aggressive yourself. Instead try and respond calmly, however if you are being abused you should take more steps to deal with this then if you are being insulted.
If you are coping abuse online, always report it to the officials of the website, and if you believe it is serious enough, report it to police. This should protect you from the threat escalating.
If you are being insulted (what most people think abuse is) the best thing to do is to try and not take it personally and respond to the other person in a respectful manner, or simply ignore what is being said. If it is deeply offensive it is best to report it also to send the message that this kind of attitude is not acceptable.
As an ex law student I hope I am able to have given some understanding and tips on the subject.