Men in Girls Chat

ZombiUnicornis

ZombiUnicornis

Girls Chat Mod
Staff member
I am lucky enough to have great male role models in my life and I observe real men here in Chat Ave forums. The following is based on my experience of real men.

Sometimes some complain about the men in our room. I am not one of those even though I would prefer girls chat was girls only.

I was pondering that today and realised we don't get any men in our room.

Real men wouldn't come into a room designed for girls.

Real men would not hit on those outside of their age group and would do it in a decent way with those within their age group.

Real men protect and work for their families.

Real men protect children.

Real men protect those who are not as strong as them.

Real men are positive influences in their communities

Real men would not say “oh I am allowed here so it must be ok”

Real men take responsibility for themselves and their actions.

Real men don't whine about their rights, they take on their responsibilities.

Real men don't impose themselves on girls who currently have or have had poor experiences of males in their lives. A large number come to girls chat to have an escape from the horror of their lives.

Real men don't expose their private parts to girls.


No we have no men in girls chat.
 
I could not agree more! What kind of men/man lurk around girls especially underage girls where they know for a fact they’re not welcome or wanted. Men don’t. Creeps and predators do. Also real men don’t defend those that do those things. That makes them just as bad as the creeps themselves.
 
ZombiUnicornis said:
I am lucky enough to have great male role models in my life and I observe real men here in Chat Ave forums. The following is based on my experience of real men.

Sometimes some complain about the men in our room. I am not one of those even though I would prefer girls chat was girls only.

I was pondering that today and realised we don't get any men in our room.

Real men wouldn't come into a room designed for girls.

Real men would not hit on those outside of their age group and would do it in a decent way with those within their age group.

Real men protect and work for their families.

Real men protect children.

Real men protect those who are not as strong as them.

Real men are positive influences in their communities

Real men would not say “oh I am allowed here so it must be ok”

Real men take responsibility for themselves and their actions.

Real men don't whine about their rights, they take on their responsibilities.

Real men don't impose themselves on girls who currently have or have had poor experiences of males in their lives. A large number come to girls chat to have an escape from the horror of their lives.

Real men don't expose their private parts to girls.


No we have no men in girls chat.
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I cannot agree more with this! It needed to be said at some point.
 
On another site, when you create a new account you're automatically listed as female to try and inflate the amount if female users in a deceptive way. I had no idea, then I put up some basic photo of my sports team. Before I could even join a room, I was bombarded with perverted, borderline sexually harassing private messages in my inbox and I had no idea why. It really shocks me that there are so many men out there online like this and it gave me more of an understanding of what females have to put up with when using social media.

That's why the few times I went to girls chat to say hi to a mod, I didn't take it personally when I was pmed told to get out and I didn't belong there. Some of those women there have probably experienced trauma, not just online, and they just want to relax without fear or stress. Given the rooms problems with some men who actively troll the room, it's hard to give any new male ******** the benefit of the doubt.
 
Oh are we insulting chat guys? Can I get in on this? I use a picture in chat that clearly isn’t supposed to be me. However, it is a female. And even I get some truly atrocious PMs from the desperate cretins who make me ashamed of my gender.

You ladies don’t have it easy. Some of the things these men ask for….
 
Finn2.0 said:
Oh are we insulting chat guys? Can I get in on this? I use a picture in chat that clearly isn’t supposed to be me. However, it is a female. And even I get some truly atrocious PMs from the desperate cretins who make me ashamed of my gender.

You ladies don’t have it easy. Some of the things these men ask for….
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Why would you do that to yourself if you don't have to?

Not that anyone asked, but limiting messages to Users only really helps qualm the creepy PMs, at least in General Chat, in case anyone reads this that didn't know that was a thing you could do. It took me a while to do it, but I highly recommend it for a quieter chat experience.
 
punky hepburn said:
Why would you do that to yourself if you don't have to?

Not that anyone asked, but limiting messages to Users only really helps qualm the creepy PMs, at least in General Chat, in case anyone reads this that didn't know that was a thing you could do. It took me a while to do it, but I highly recommend it for a quieter chat experience.
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there's nothing you can do to stop getting creepy PMs from me
 
Boba Fett said:
On another site, when you create a new account you're automatically listed as female to try and inflate the amount if female users in a deceptive way. I had no idea, then I put up some basic photo of my sports team. Before I could even join a room, I was bombarded with perverted, borderline sexually harassing private messages in my inbox and I had no idea why. It really shocks me that there are so many men out there online like this and it gave me more of an understanding of what females have to put up with when using social media.

That's why the few times I went to girls chat to say hi to a mod, I didn't take it personally when I was pmed told to get out and I didn't belong there. Some of those women there have probably experienced trauma, not just online, and they just want to relax without fear or stress. Given the rooms problems with some men who actively troll the room, it's hard to give any new male ******** the benefit of the doubt.
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Finn2.0 said:
Oh are we insulting chat guys? Can I get in on this? I use a picture in chat that clearly isn’t supposed to be me. However, it is a female. And even I get some truly atrocious PMs from the desperate cretins who make me ashamed of my gender.

You ladies don’t have it easy. Some of the things these men ask for….
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The younger girls in particular get some god awful PMS. When I was new to chat sites I had no idea what some were talking about, if my parents looked at my search history they would have freaked.

What's really sad is this, we get younger girls who have been or are in very abusive situations. Even just having a guy in the room makes them feel really uncomfortable, some leave because its just too much for them.

With my own personal history and reasons for chatting and the many situations girls who come to chat come from it would be really nice for them to have spaces where these guys are actively removed from. I made side rooms for a while that helped with this.

We also have a few predatory women which can be far worse for the girls who are trying to work out their sexuality. They look to older people sometimes for guidance especially when they dont feel they can talk to anyone in real life. The seeking advice or asking for older is actively discouraged for obvious reasons

As far as the dudes who pretend to be girls, yes they are painful but most are quite obvious especially for those of us who have been around chats for a while. You do get tricky ones but once again they usually get found out. It would be good if we could have those who act in this way banned with good evidence and well run investigations.

We tend to have good networks of girls looking out for girls, we watch for potential and known threats, we look at friends lists regularly. When we see especially a newer younger ones with one of the known or suspicious people on the friends list we quietly warn them. This isn't an officially run thing its just something a few of us do.

Sadly many who should be perma banned arnt, they may get a ban then a few months later we see them come back.
 
ZombiUnicornis said:
The younger girls in particular get some god awful PMS. When I was new to chat sites I had no idea what some were talking about, if my parents looked at my search history they would have freaked.

What's really sad is this, we get younger girls who have been or are in very abusive situations. Even just having a guy in the room makes them feel really uncomfortable, some leave because its just too much for them.

With my own personal history and reasons for chatting and the many situations girls who come to chat come from it would be really nice for them to have spaces where these guys are actively removed from. I made side rooms for a while that helped with this.

We also have a few predatory women which can be far worse for the girls who are trying to work out their sexuality. They look to older people sometimes for guidance especially when they dont feel they can talk to anyone in real life. The seeking advice or asking for older is actively discouraged for obvious reasons

As far as the dudes who pretend to be girls, yes they are painful but most are quite obvious especially for those of us who have been around chats for a while. You do get tricky ones but once again they usually get found out. It would be good if we could have those who act in this way banned with good evidence and well run investigations.

We tend to have good networks of girls looking out for girls, we watch for potential and known threats, we look at friends lists regularly. When we see especially a newer younger ones with one of the known or suspicious people on the friends list we quietly warn them. This isn't an officially run thing its just something a few of us do.

Sadly many who should be perma banned arnt, they may get a ban then a few months later we see them come back.
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It’s always been a problem with chat. Beyond a kick or a ban, there’s very little consequences so people feel they can do what they want. Even a ban, while stopping it happening again, doesn’t help those initial people affected.

I think the best way to deal with it is to make sure people are aware of the serial offenders. It won’t stop the problem completely but hopefully it does something. As mods, we can’t act until someone does something wrong and it’s very difficult to get a new user to believe your warnings.

Which is why part of me believes girls chat should be a safe space for girls. Of course you’re then going to get the catfish and it’s another problem altogether. I used to use another site that used picture verification to register. When you signed up, you were given a randomly generated code and you had to provide a picture of yourself with your face visible holding up the code on a piece of paper. While not an ideal solution, it adds another level of protection for you girls.
 
Finn2.0 said:
It’s always been a problem with chat. Beyond a kick or a ban, there’s very little consequences so people feel they can do what they want. Even a ban, while stopping it happening again, doesn’t help those initial people affected.

I think the best way to deal with it is to make sure people are aware of the serial offenders. It won’t stop the problem completely but hopefully it does something. As mods, we can’t act until someone does something wrong and it’s very difficult to get a new user to believe your warnings.

Which is why part of me believes girls chat should be a safe space for girls. Of course you’re then going to get the catfish and it’s another problem altogether. I used to use another site that used picture verification to register. When you signed up, you were given a randomly generated code and you had to provide a picture of yourself with your face visible holding up the code on a piece of paper. While not an ideal solution, it adds another level of protection for you girls.
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That solution wont ever come here I am sure.

I felt a reasonable compromise with the sites ruling on allowing guys in girls chat would be making a perma side room that is girls only and members only room, so no guests can enter as well.

This would give some measure of a space for the girls, it would encourage new people who are guests to register and the main room would still run as per normal.

With a room the size of girls chat it would be relatively easy to moderate, you could even make special room only mods out of potential future mods to teach and test them.

Sadly change is feared and therefore hard to accomplish.
 
ZombiUnicornis said:
That solution wont ever come here I am sure.

I felt a reasonable compromise with the sites ruling on allowing guys in girls chat would be making a perma side room that is girls only and members only room, so no guests can enter as well.

This would give some measure of a space for the girls, it would encourage new people who are guests to register and the main room would still run as per normal.

With a room the size of girls chat it would be relatively easy to moderate, you could even make special room only mods out of potential future mods to teach and test them.

Sadly change is feared and therefore hard to accomplish.
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A side room like that would definitely work. But again, it doesn’t solve the issue of catfish.

I know there’s gonna be people that come with the age old “not all men” and I agree. There are many decent ment around. But why is having a gender specific chat room such an issue for some people? Especially when there are so many unisex rooms to choose from.
 
Finn2.0 said:
A side room like that would definitely work. But again, it doesn’t solve the issue of catfish.

I know there’s gonna be people that come with the age old “not all men” and I agree. There are many decent ment around. But why is having a gender specific chat room such an issue for some people? Especially when there are so many unisex rooms to choose from.
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Agreed, I am certainly not in the anti men brigade there are great men in my life.

We do have some anti men in the room but some of those have come from very abusive situations so I fully understand that attitude in some. LOL sometimes you will see the biggest anti guy people are actually the biggest catfish in the room.

Id support the same sort of thing in boys chat if they so wished. It is not remotely sexist to have a specific space for people in society and definitely chat.
 
Heck I even get PMs from the desperate even when I clearly state I am a lesbian they still press me, now I haven't had too many issues with guys in my life, actually have quite a bit of male friends, but those that don't respect the word no or any that just come into girls chat are just a different species all together. I mean I have seen one who is allegedly 86 years old......really really? Why what is your purpose in there
 
Girls chat being girl/ girl alligned( ex demigirl/ girl flux/ femme) is what would be best. Verifying users with pics to prove their girlhood would lead to discrimation. Looking at someone and telling if they are a girl or girl aligned would be impossible.

Lesbian chat used to have an admin with a girl only mindset. At the time I was not out as enby and then admin banned me for being a man cause I wasn't girly.
 
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Ravenflight👽 said:
Girls chat being girl/ girl alligned( ex demigirl/ girl flux/ femme) is what would be best. Verifying users with pics to prove their girlhood would lead to discrimation. Looking at someone and telling if they are a girl or girl aligned would be impossible.

Lesbian chat used to have an admin with a girl only mindset. At the time I was not out as enby and then admin banned me for being a man cause I wasn't girly.
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Only admin who used to do that for a short time frame was MAI.Before MAI, Kelly actually allowed guys too
 
It would be nice to have Girls Chat to be just for girls, but some guys feel the need to intrude like they own the place. I don't mind if nice guys are in Girls Chat, but the "nice guys" are few and far between.
Zombie is correct in that there are some males that believe, "Males are allowed as long as they are respectful" but in reality, most are not respectful in the least.
If males were respectful, they would leave the room for girls only but since that's not going to happen, they wouldn't be behaving the way that they do with their obscene pics and dirty comments, telling girls what we can and cannot say, wouldn't argue over little things that girls say, wouldn't criticize or protest our use of 'girls only' side rooms, which we use to get away from the creeps, pervs, and weirdos that show up in the absence of staff, and they would just let girls be girls - I guess that's too much to ask.
They just don't get it.
Keep smiling 🙂 Stay strong girls.
 
Sadly it continues to get worse with the name behaviour, and some females too, just this morning he I won’t name, once again attacking Karina and bragging he runs the room, on top of the racist and homophobic troll with his multiple accounts, GC is at one it’s lowest points. Of course as I often am, I might in this moment be guilty of being overly dramatic!
 
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