Suicide Talk for Attention

[Deleted member 293502]

@babydolla alright, since you know more about being suicidal than someone who works with suicidal people, someone that has been locked up more than 6 times for trying to kill themselves (and coming very close), and someone that has studied psychology through multiple classes - I must ask - Where is your psychology degree?

Because my mom has a Bachelors in Psychology and thinks you're stupid as hell. I think you're stupid as hell. Hell, half this thread does not agree with you trying to make being suicidal a black-and-white thing.

Even fully trained professionals cannot properly identify if someone is suicidal through normal conversation. Why can you?

Someone with a Masters in Psychology is required by common practice requirements (institutional protocol, sometimes regional law) to engage in a full, 21 question, examination known as the Beck Depression Inventory, in order to examine whether or not someone is depressed and/or suicidal.

Furthermore, I personally have surprised people with how quickly I can go from cracking jokes and "having a good time" to having a razor blade halfway stuck in my thigh near my groin. Those people? Were three fully trained professionals with masters degrees that work with suicidal people daily.

YOU ARE NOT QUALIFIED TO MAKE THESE DECISIONS ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE!

Your only evidence in the matter is that your dad killed themselves. Again, I'm sorry for your loss. However there are several websites - from various countries and colleges/universities that directly and bluntly say you're incorrect in your assessment and reaction.

I'm ending this comment with something I think you need to consider. Everyone is someone to someone. Do you want your words to be the reason someone has to grieve a loss?

I see it all the time. People seem to think they know if someone is lying - they try to call their bluff and the person winds up ridiculed. And then 24 hours later they're bleeding out in a bathtub.

You're not a professional, stop acting like one.

 

[TheLeigh]

Why not be a hero and help them to NOT want to kill themselves?

Moderators moderate rooms and the things that happen within those rooms.

We do not moderate people’s personal lives/feelings.

The worst thing an uncertified/unlicensed person can do is be someone’s “hero”, as the majority of the time in these situations, it does more harm than good, no matter how pure the intentions to help may be.

As a humane courtesy (and under zero obligation), we give ******** the direction they need to help them get to a “safe space” where someone is genuinely waiting to help them, regardless of where they live.

 

[Deleted member 293502]

The best thing to do in this situation is to assume that ANYONE talking about suicide is BEING SERIOUS.

Failure to do this literally kills people. Most suicides are planned, premeditated events. Some may stay silent, giving off warning-sign galore. Others will openly talk about wanting to end their lives, practically begging for someone to take them seriously and force them to get help... just to be called a faker and shunned.

I know because I was never the silent type.

 

[Deleted member 293502]

The worst thing an uncertified/unlicensed person can do is be someone’s “hero”, as the majority of the time and in these situations, it does more harm than good

This is the cold, hard, truth. Unlicensed people (or at the very least - uneducated people) cannot and should never attempt to interviene without either directly consulting a professional (a by-proxy 988 call) or straight up calling it in.

It's too easy to say the wrong thing.

 

[FairyxStar_oOo]

Suicide is real attention seeking or not you can’t expect a ban or to kick them just like a piece of **** that can cause more harm than good to an individual so as HR says talk to them kick them with a nice message but NOT ever say **** off you attention seeking bastard so to speak !!!! You DO not know what people are going through that 5 mins of you taking the time to speak to them could legit save there lives !!!! It’s nice to be nice it don’t cost nothing !!

 

[-Luka]

I don’t know why the onus is on a stranger on the internet. What are they going to do or what will they be able to do apart from g00gle a phone number for help?

It is attention seeking, however it’s never selfish. People on the internet who are already fragile really shouldn’t be on it- same applies here.

Also love how certain mods think they’re better than a non mod just because she does not work with people who have contemplated suicide. Don’t be patronising like the way you would speak to the ones you work with.

 

[FairyxStar_oOo]

You don’t mod like that I don’t know what he was thinking making her a mod raw she’s cold !! I don’t approve!!!!

 

[FairyxStar_oOo]

Ohhhh no it’s in the right one ^^^

 

[Deleted member 285556]

....so if i were to assume they were also faking it, thats gonna help them?

The best thing to do in this situation is to assume that ANYONE talking about suicide is BEING SERIOUS. and provide helplines in a kick reason, a kick issued due to these rooms not being the best place for that kind of thing.

If the person is being serious: they are removed from a toxic environment, and given the correct course of action

If their not: their gone for how ever long, and ignore the help, since they don't actually need it

Assuming EVERYONE is doing it for attention is a terrible idea, as their are people who are serious... if you Assume everyone IS SERIOUS, then the ones who actually are get the help

Also, to assume they're faking it would be awful if they actually did commit suicide...the people who accused them of faking it would have to live with that guilt forever because they didn't take them seriously.

So I 100% agree with you

 

[DontCostYaNuffin]

Doesn’t matter if you’re rich or poor. If you’ve got a lot of friends and you’re popular, or if you’ve got no friends at all. If you’re bright or cognitively impaired. When the party's over, you still have to go home to yourself. Having cognitive distortions/irrational thoughts happens to the best of us.

 

[Deleted member 250213]

I am a moderator and has experienced the after effect of a suicide in the family. I dislike suicide talk in a chat room, period. Call it PTSD or trying to ignore the issue, go ahead. I just feel cold about the issue.

Same goes for my opinions on those who take their own lives, in which I am not willing to discuss, I will offend people if I do. But that is the way I cope with it.

 

[Deleted member 285556]

I am a moderator and has experienced the after effect of a suicide in the family. I dislike suicide talk in a chat room, period. Call it PTSD or trying to ignore the issue, go ahead. I just feel cold about the issue.

Same goes for my opinions on those who take their own lives, in which I am not willing to discuss, I will offend people if I do. But that is the way I cope with it.

It's not all about you. You seem rather selfish.

 

[Deleted member 250213]

It's not all about you. You seem rather selfish.

Says the person who has her own opinion. Smh

 

[Deleted member 285556]

Says the person who has her own opinion. Grow up.

You need to grow up. You don't even visit singles chat and you're in the singles forum section voting for me on polls. Get a life ya weirdo.

You're the most annoying irrelevant mod on chat ave. Cry some more.

 

[Deleted member 250213]

Thanks for your opinion about me no one takes seriously. Have a nice day.

 

[babydolla]

I am a moderator and has experienced the after effect of a suicide in the family. I dislike suicide talk in a chat room, period. Call it PTSD or trying to ignore the issue, go ahead. I just feel cold about the issue.

Same goes for my opinions on those who take their own lives, in which I am not willing to discuss, I will offend people if I do. But that is the way I cope with it.

i feel for u babe,

talking about suicide isn't a joke, & a chatroom especially one that has minor users is no place to be discussing suicide, it's a subject that should be banned entirely from taking place...

the fact there are some mods here who think they should be acting like therapists & helping these people is extremely bizarre, & inappropriate...

this is the internet, to assume that these users talking about it for anything other than attention is extremely foolish, & disrespectful, they probablys think sanguine is rly a doctor & lawyer / supermodel... 🤷🏼‍♀️

whether theyre serious or not, mods need to do nothing & should do nothing besides enforce the rules by removing them, everyone knows wat the suicide hotline is if they really wanted help they wouldn't be on chatavenue talking about suicide...

 

[SerenityMoon]

I think it depends on the context of the talk. If you listen it may be a call for help. You may be the one person they trust to vent to or the only person they feel can or will help.

 

[Deleted member 293502]

Also love how certain mods think they’re better than a non mod just because she does not work with people who have contemplated suicide. Don’t be patronising like the way you would speak to the ones you work with.

We do NOT think we're better. We're saying if you are on our chatroom talking about hurting yourself, we're going to take it seriously because in most cases we aren't trained in that at all - so, some of us put the number up, others don't, no biggie imo.

I dont think im better than OP for anything other than this one simple thing: OP is judging other people and deciding with nothing more than a hunch that they're faking it. No real evidence of the matter at all. Having been in that situation, I know what that could do if they're NOT faking it.

So I apologize if I'm rather aggressive about this, but I've witnessed enough suicides for a lifetime and I don't particularly enjoy someone abusing their ability to hide behind a screen to make life difficult for others. If you aren't professionally trained, it isn't your place to decide it. That's all I'm saying, ain't nothing deeper than that. I ain't trained, I acknowledge that - which is why I take all self-harm talk 1000% seriously.

Sorry if you weren't particularly aiming that at me but given the limited context it seemed as such.

 

[Deleted member 293502]

I think it depends on the context of the talk. If you listen it may be a call for help. You may be the one person they trust to vent to or the only person they feel can or will help.

I have seen it be a call for help more than not. People do use it for attention, sure - but to assume they are by default can end lives. So, I treat every situation as if it's 100% serious. That way those who need help get it, and those who are faking it -- get removed. I really don't get why this is so difficult and mind-boggling to some.

 

[babydolla]

bc this isn't just being done for attention at all;

i can post more, bc it literally never stops no matter how often the mods mute or kick them & tell them to stop, & always only when the entire room stops paying them any attention... they'll even specifically wait until the mods leave to continue unchecked...

how is this not inappropriate, & grossly disrespectful??? IDK frankly how some of u think this is tolerable behavior, it's toxic & psychotic & glorifies suicide... it not only glorifies it, but glorifies it among a community that has potentially vulnerable minors...