albari
Active Member
ok i haven't been here in weeks i thinks, so i only saw @Bread. 's post a few minutes ago... and it's super duper wyld but not surprising.
other news is i went to therapy and felt the need to bring up the whole situation with Nick. she ended up telling me i did infact get involuntarily groomed but my ego prevented me from admitting it to myself. she pointed out how i subconsciously defended him in certain instances and justified it with my "morality", which is ironic given defending someone like Nick would be considered inherently immoral by most(??)
she said even though i think i voluntarily put myself in the situation on my own, i didn't. my perception of the situation was dictated by other people telling me it was my fault, which shifts blame onto me and leaves Nick unaccountable.
the "i baited him" narrative is half false because I was not baiting him months prior, i was allowing him access to me every time he pm'd or talked to me in main. even labelling us as "friends" in the begining. she said the reason i talked about it like it was some elaborate scheme is to again, spare my ego but also seem less vulnerable and more mature.
the stigmatisation of being a "victim" is somewhat degrading to me but unfortunately that's what i am and that's okay. i don't care how anyone else sees it tbh.
other news is i went to therapy and felt the need to bring up the whole situation with Nick. she ended up telling me i did infact get involuntarily groomed but my ego prevented me from admitting it to myself. she pointed out how i subconsciously defended him in certain instances and justified it with my "morality", which is ironic given defending someone like Nick would be considered inherently immoral by most(??)
she said even though i think i voluntarily put myself in the situation on my own, i didn't. my perception of the situation was dictated by other people telling me it was my fault, which shifts blame onto me and leaves Nick unaccountable.
the "i baited him" narrative is half false because I was not baiting him months prior, i was allowing him access to me every time he pm'd or talked to me in main. even labelling us as "friends" in the begining. she said the reason i talked about it like it was some elaborate scheme is to again, spare my ego but also seem less vulnerable and more mature.
the stigmatisation of being a "victim" is somewhat degrading to me but unfortunately that's what i am and that's okay. i don't care how anyone else sees it tbh.
