Do you feel safe?

Louize

Louize

Gold Member
Okay, genuine question after some things have been said today and just wanting to get some feedback on how our youth feel when using the forums and/or chat rooms.

I'm wondering how many of our users are currently under 18 or who those who have been here since they were under 18, and do you/did you genuinely feel supported and safe on the forums or site as a whole and why did or didn't you?
 
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emileh said:
I can assure you my mum is not an unfit parent. If the kids are educated about the dangers on any social site and they're able to talk to their parents about any concerns they have then the risk is very small. In my country we're educated about online risks from an early age in school.
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And I actually think this is a super valid point. Our minors should be educated on online safety and should be able to approach adults with the idea that they will get help when they need it, parents included.

Buuuuut (controversial) it shouldn't just fall on the parents, plenty of kids are smart enough to access what parents want to shelter them from if they really want to, and that's where places like this should have people in charge who actually want to help protect the younger users.
 
Louize said:
And I actually think this is a super valid point. Our minors should be educated on online safety and should be able to approach adults with the idea that they will get help when they need it, parents included.

Buuuuut (controversial) it shouldn't just fall on the parents, plenty of kids are smart enough to access what parents want to shelter them from if they really want to, and that's where places like this should have people in charge who actually want to help protect the younger users.
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Site like this have a duty of care of course.
 
And again in this thread.

Posts were removed that needn't be removed. They actually were in line with the debate. I'm pretty sure @ban active was pointing out that in some rooms minors are exposed to things that maybe we could prevent if we all worked together.

And if they are inappropriate for this thread, then surely that would merely confirm they are inappropriate in the chatroom, so again... It opens up the discussion to, does that make our younger users feel uncomfortable etc.

Please reinstate the deleted posts @Apollo @TheLeigh @Ness_eb
 
@emileh Just because I honestly do think you're a very educated, and bright young lady, and for once I'm truly not trying to cause drama if you were a gen chat user of 13 and received that message off HR... Would you be okay with that? Do you think it's appropriate?

I want to hear a younger girl than myself answer it. Because I'm a fair bit removed from my teens so maybe as a 34 year old I'm seeing it differently.
 
Louize said:
@emileh Just because I honestly do think you're a very educated, and bright young lady, and for once I'm truly not trying to cause drama if you were a gen chat user of 13 and received that message off HR... Would you be okay with that? Do you think it's appropriate?

I want to hear a younger girl than myself answer it. Because I'm a fair bit removed from my teens so maybe as a 34 year old I'm seeing it differently.
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Yes I'd be ok with that as long as it was friendly and appropriate. I've PMd with a few adults on forums in fact. I'm used to talking with adults and have no issues with that 🙂 Of course that's me, others may not have the same thoughts.
 
emileh said:
Yes I'd be ok with that as long as it was friendly and appropriate. I've PMd with a few adults on forums in fact. I'm used to talking with adults and have no issues with that 🙂 Of course that's me, others may not have the same thoughts.
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I don't mean a normal PM saying hi, I actually do think adults and minors can engage and it not have to be anything untoward. It can be appropriate... Not always, but for the most part, I would like to think the majority of adults would be appropriate

I mean his message to a 13 year old user in an earlier post here:

Kwai Chang Caine said:
View attachment 983762 I do a lot of this kind of thing, that users don't see. Next time dont' hijack other peoples threads
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Edit: and as a younger woman, is there a better approach you could suggest? Maybe let ya know your thoughts also @Pinky is there a better approach to this kind of PM?

Both only answer that if you feel comfortable btw.
 
Well if I were breaking a rule then I'd have to be ok with an intervention like that although the phrase "unwanted adult attention" is just plain wrong as it implies adults do that sort of thing when they really don't. Personally, I'd have used something like "please change your pfp/bg pic for something more appropriate as your current image could cause you problems with predators. If you do received any inappropriate messages then please report them so that they can be dealt with" .
 
emileh said:
Well if I were breaking a rule then I'd have to be ok with an intervention like that although the phrase "unwanted adult attention" is just plain wrong as it implies adults do that sort of thing when they really don't. Personally, I'd have used something like "please change your pfp/bg pic for something more appropriate as your current image could cause you problems with predators. If you do received any inappropriate messages then please report them so that they can be dealt with" .
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This. I prefer this response because it's moving away from victim blaming children.

We have to be aware that there will always be shady people online, but suggesting a child can't dress how they want because an adult might act inappropriately is the wrong way to go about it. The adult should be the one to know and do better. Sure, guide a minor in a different direction, and let them know it's safe to come and report things should the awful actually happen... But don't put an adults vile behaviour as the cause of a child.

That's one step in making our youth feel safer.
 
Louize said:
I don't mean a normal PM saying hi, I actually do think adults and minors can engage and it not have to be anything untoward. It can be appropriate... Not always, but for the most part, I would like to think the majority of adults would be appropriate

I mean his message to a 13 year old user in an earlier post here:



Edit: and as a younger woman, is there a better approach you could suggest? Maybe let ya know your thoughts also @Pinky is there a better approach to this kind of PM?

Both only answer that if you feel comfortable btw.
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I think the main issue that @ban active has with this particular issue is that a normal 13 year old girl 99% of the time wouldn’t post these types of pictures in public in a chat room full of adults. I get very self conscious even posting my face because of some of the comments I get. This seems more like a case of obvious catfishery than anything.

BUT if it was me and I was dumb enough to post pictures like that in a link to another site, and I got a message like that I’d probably feel kinda icky with myself to get that kind of negative attention from an adult.
 
FairyxStar_oOo said:
Can I drop the owner a message to ban Louize it’s every fucking day she’s trolling about the same **** with her goblin buck tooth HEAD !!!! You don’t have to open thread after thread !!! With ur shity half a SS claims on the same **** stop 🛑 it !!!!
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Pull your head in, crazy person. Dang. The screenshots belong to another user. Get your facts straight.
 
Kwai Chang Caine said:
View attachment 983762 I do a lot of this kind of thing, that users don't see. Next time dont' hijack other peoples threads-
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HR this is what I was trying to talk to you about. I don't doubt that you do that often, but this, it seems like you are soft on this issue. I know yes VIPS are GODS and money money money etc however , a picture like that as Pinky said more than likely cat fish. but a picture like that might attract unwanted adult attention? No it will attract adult attention. My advice and I know I am an admin that life got in the way of serving chat avenue but here is what I would do; I am booting you because of the picture. You will be allowed to come back but if you don't change the picture you will be banned.
 
That’s absolutely shocking.

Glad HR is a widow his wife would be turning in her grave at the comments and behaviour he condones towards females and underage girls. Absolutely disgusting. If you had any shroud of decency, he’d resign like the time he said he nearly did when he got so upset at hiring the mod/curry lad.. and that was done deliberately also.

I am sorry for the younger users on here the only way they’ll feel safe is when he’s fired and or rotting in hell.

@Chatmaster he’s now blaming the user like a rapist would blame his victim.

Edit: and that example above is a simile, not an accusation so off you fucking fuk with your false edits/infractions and accusations of calling someone a rapist.
 
Pinky said:
I think the main issue that @ban active has with this particular issue is that a normal 13 year old girl 99% of the time wouldn’t post these types of pictures in public in a chat room full of adults. I get very self conscious even posting my face because of some of the comments I get. This seems more like a case of obvious catfishery than anything.

BUT if it was me and I was dumb enough to post pictures like that in a link to another site, and I got a message like that I’d probably feel kinda icky with myself to get that kind of negative attention from an adult.
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I completely agree that the majority of 13 year old girls aren't going to flaunt themselves in that way, and I completely understand the worry behind profiles like that. I've picked up the topic in more detail on another thread in debate.

And in regards to feeling icky about a PM like the one above, what about it makes you feel icky, and is there a different approach you'd suggest that would make you feel safer/more comfortable?
 
Louize said:
And again in this thread.

Posts were removed that needn't be removed. They actually were in line with the debate. I'm pretty sure @ban active was pointing out that in some rooms minors are exposed to things that maybe we could prevent if we all worked together.

And if they are inappropriate for this thread, then surely that would merely confirm they are inappropriate in the chatroom, so again... It opens up the discussion to, does that make our younger users feel uncomfortable etc.

Please reinstate the deleted posts @Apollo @TheLeigh @Ness_eb
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Its not unusual for HR to target someone who he clearly feels is wrong and pointing out fault, he will remove all I have to say as he feels its a direct attack on him which it isnt - its plain to see who clearly allows predators to continue and blames others.

I also agree with @Pinky most of those profiles are not really teenagers but where are the pictures coming from? It is ok to have a pedo playground for room numbers and money as it generates for the site? I understand its a money making adventure its a business of course but you can make money without the use of dangling carrots persay.

@Chatmaster can I please have an explination why @Kwai Chang Caine keeps removing my posts which are appropriate to the thread to which the discussion is happening? He has now removed everything I have posted marking it as spam. As a full paying member of this site I feel I have a right to have an explination instead of just removing the posts mark as spam and have to be informed via another forum um what the issues is. With thanks
 
Louize said:
I completely agree that the majority of 13 year old girls aren't going to flaunt themselves in that way, and I completely understand the worry behind profiles like that. I've picked up the topic in more detail on another thread in debate.

And in regards to feeling icky about a PM like the one above, what about it makes you feel icky, and is there a different approach you'd suggest that would make you feel safer/more comfortable?
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Well, first of all, I never have my PM open in General Chat.

After some of the questions and comments I got as a mod, I concluded once H.R. decided to move me along because I wasn’t a good fit for the room (paraphrased), that I’d keep my PM closed.

This decision became solidified after the fact a paedo, with the same creepy vibe as one I had encountered as a child (saving us, it’s for our soul, etc.), was allowed free reign in the chat and the forum and I was the one ended up being punished, with no apology for the lack of support.

Secondly, I’d moderated here for almost 3 years before I was removed. I would always react differently to someone who hasn’t experienced the same things I have experienced over the years (from full on CSAM/CEM to more men’s bits than I would have liked to have seen in a lifetime).

But, that was how things happened for me. I sometimes wish I had never come here. But it I hadn’t, I would have missed knowing some truly wonderful people here.

Now, just to sum up in hide sight, I probably wouldn’t have known what to do when I was 13. Just wouldn’t have posted those pics.

Maybe what he says was fine? What do I know, I’m just revenue in this place. My feelings and safety don’t matter to some of the higher ups.
 
sorry I don’t speak court ordered

but are you absolutely fkn livid and triggered hun? how’s the scalp is it nit free now it got yoinked out x
 
Pinky said:
Well, first of all, I never have my PM open in General Chat.

After some of the questions and comments I got as a mod, I concluded once H.R. decided to move me along because I wasn’t a good fit for the room (paraphrased), that I’d keep my PM closed.

This decision became solidified after the fact a paedo, with the same creepy vibe as one I had encountered as a child (saving us, it’s for our soul, etc.), was allowed free reign in the chat and the forum and I was the one ended up being punished, with no apology for the lack of support.

Secondly, I’d moderated here for almost 3 years before I was removed. I would always react differently to someone who hasn’t experienced the same things I have experienced over the years (from full on CSAM/CEM to more men’s bits than I would have liked to have seen in a lifetime).

But, that was how things happened for me. I sometimes wish I had never come here. But it I hadn’t, I would have missed knowing some truly wonderful people here.

Now, just to sum up in hide sight, I probably wouldn’t have known what to do when I was 13. Just wouldn’t have posted those pics.

Maybe what he says was fine? What do I know, I’m just revenue in this place. My feelings and safety don’t matter to some of the higher ups.
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This is actually a super fucking sad reply. Honestly.

I spoke my words when I saw what was going on with you, and it's a shame you were even driven to that point, it never should have happened, and in mine and many others opinions, the ban was the wrong way around. Especially since you had tried to speak to the person who was meant to be acting as a guide and instead became part of the problem by excusing that behaviour.
 
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