4th pregnancy scare

J

JennaB99

New Member
Hello i didnt wanna post but we probably need some harsh advice. So recently married me and my husband live in my older sisters house. She pays all the bills we are both currently not working.
she freaked on us yesterday over my 4th pregnnacy scare. We owe her alot of money promised to pay her back but have not yet. She labeled me immature and said we are not mature enough to be having sex!!! I was on the pill but stopped it due to hormones. We said we would use condoms but that didnt happen either.
she said her house her rules no sex!!!! Is that fair??

she told us we are in no position for a baby which we are not but still behave this way. She said until we prove otherwise sex is off the table or move out. She knows we have no where to go either. We were taken back because we are married adults. Sorry im ranting i know.
 
Advice:
In my opinion: You are not ready to have a baby. Neither of you have jobs, do you really want to have a baby when neither of you have jobs? I mean who will pay for your baby? Do not answer "Well my sister can" because it isnt her job at all... If you have a baby at this point in time, the way that baby's future is looking isn't a pretty picture... I hate to break it to you but you shouldn't depend on your sister for everything, she won't always be there to help you....

In my opinion: You are not mature enough to even have sex because if you do have sex and someone's condom breaks then you're going to get pregnant and then your options are either get a abortion, give the baby away or keep the baby. To be honest if you don't have money to take care of the child then Child Services will try to take the baby away because you will not be a fit parent to take care of the child... Would you really wanna do that to the baby, because if that does happen then the baby will either go to a adoption center or go to a different family that is fit to take care of them... Also don't get a abortion - That's just cruel!

In my opinion: You are also living under a roof that you don't even help pay for so your sisters rules do apply to both of you.. If she doesn't want you having sex and you do want to have sex, you need to get a job and make money to buy,an apartment or a house to live in... but since your living in your sisters house and not paying for anything, her rules are what you need to follow.
 
I don't know how to explain this any more simply: having sex without contraception makes babies (implying that both people have opposite reproductive organs, are having vaginal intercourse, and are of adequate health, child-bearing age, etc.). You just said that you are not in a position to be having children, yet you are proceeding to have sex without contraception and are on your fourth pregnancy scare. That is an irresponsible decision and you are acting immaturely. The way I see it, there are several things you need to come to terms with or change in your life:

1) You are living with your sister and are not contributing to the household expenses. Her house, her rules. If you don't like that, leave.
2) If you are not in a position to leave because you're unemployed, get a job.
3) If you are not responsible enough to practice safe sex, you are not responsible enough to raise a child. If you are not able to afford housing for yourself, you are not able to afford housing for a child. Find a method of contraception that works for you or stop having sex.
4) You are mad that your sister is telling you what to do with your lives when you and your husband are married adults. Suck it up buttercup. Married or not, adult or not, you're proving yourself unable to make adult decisions. You should be grateful to your sister for having a voice of reason when you are unable to do so for yourself.
 
Options (in no particular order):

Continue doing it but with zero risk of getting up the duff:

1. Anal
2. Oral
3. Sterilisation

Minimise the risk:

4. Condoms
5. Coil
6. Pill
7. Diaphragm
8. Implant
9. Injections
10. Patch
...or a mixture of all the above.

I remember the sex talk at school where we were shown something like a cucumber with a male condom on and a cup with a female condom in it. Maybe try that. It'll be like two plastic bags having sex but you never know, you might like it...or it might be so repulsive it kills the idea of having sex in the first place.
 
Inkandtatts said:
Options (in no particular order):

Continue doing it but with zero risk of getting up the duff:

1. Anal
2. Oral
3. Sterilisation

Minimise the risk:

4. Condoms
5. Coil
6. Pill
7. Diaphragm
8. Implant
9. Injections
10. Patch
...or a mixture of all the above.

I remember the sex talk at school where we were shown something like a cucumber with a male condom on and a cup with a female condom in it. Maybe try that. It'll be like two plastic bags having sex but you never know, you might like it...or it might be so repulsive it kills the idea of having sex in the first place.
Click to expand...
Thats a good idea idk if they would even steralize me?
so he wears a condom i insert a female condom. I have seen them but never tried them. My sister said no sex at all. Would tjat combo kill our sex drives though.??
 
JennaB99 said:
Thats a good idea idk if they would even steralize me?
so he wears a condom i insert a female condom. I have seen them but never tried them. My sister said no sex at all. Would tjat combo kill our sex drives though.??
Click to expand...
Which age bracket do you fall into?
 
A contraceptive implant is 99% effective and lasts three years. Plenty of time for you to get your life sorted out and find a place of your own.
 
Inkandtatts said:
Options (in no particular order):

Continue doing it but with zero risk of getting up the duff:

1. Anal
2. Oral
3. Sterilisation

Minimise the risk:

4. Condoms
5. Coil
6. Pill
7. Diaphragm
8. Implant
9. Injections
10. Patch
...or a mixture of all the above.

I remember the sex talk at school where we were shown something like a cucumber with a male condom on and a cup with a female condom in it. Maybe try that. It'll be like two plastic bags having sex but you never know, you might like it...or it might be so repulsive it kills the idea of having sex in the first place.
Click to expand...
Finally the obvious answer and that is B.J.
 
actual real life consequences for actions on display here.

pregnancy isnt scary...

what is scary:
1. your body rejecting the fertilized egg... many times referred to as miscarriage.
2. your egg not in the correct place during fertilization.... many times referred to as etopic pregnancy
3. chromosomes that over or under develop causing irreparable damage... many times referred to as a birth defect.
4. having your Dr come to your visit and tell you your human you are growing is no longer viable and needs extraction.... many times referred to as a D&C.... in many places it goes hand in hand with...you guessed it... abortion.
5. getting almost all the way through your pregnancy to go to a scan and find a full term baby with no heartbeat. instead of going home to eat a tub of ice cream and netflix and chillin. your headed off to the hospital to be medicated and deliver a baby you will never take home... many times referred to as a stillborn baby.

if you cannot wrap your head around these 5, chances are you cant wrap your head around the 1000's more issues and that means your sister is right, and you should keep your legs closed.
 
purplerose said:
actual real life consequences for actions on display here.

pregnancy isnt scary...

what is scary:
1. your body rejecting the fertilized egg... many times referred to as miscarriage.
2. your egg not in the correct place during fertilization.... many times referred to as etopic pregnancy
3. chromosomes that over or under develop causing irreparable damage... many times referred to as a birth defect.
4. having your Dr come to your visit and tell you your human you are growing is no longer viable and needs extraction.... many times referred to as a D&C.... in many places it goes hand in hand with...you guessed it... abortion.
5. getting almost all the way through your pregnancy to go to a scan and find a full term baby with no heartbeat. instead of going home to eat a tub of ice cream and netflix and chillin. your headed off to the hospital to be medicated and deliver a baby you will never take home... many times referred to as a stillborn baby.

if you cannot wrap your head around these 5, chances are you cant wrap your head around the 1000's more issues and that means your sister is right, and you should keep your legs closed.
Click to expand...
Let's also not forget that depending on the state you live in...YOU...could be charged for murder for any of the above despite it having nothing to do with anything you did.
 
StubleU said:
Let's also not forget that depending on the state you live in...YOU...could be charged for murder for any of the above despite it having nothing to do with anything you did.
Click to expand...
sad part of all of it... NONE of it is pain free. all of it requires some level and type of pain. jail requires monetary pain, the rest is emotional, mental and physical.



so glad i live where thats not an issue.
 
Miss Mushroom said:
It's trashy to have sex with your husband?? O__o We do not know the circumstances of their unemployment so I wouldn't come out swinging insults.
Click to expand...
It is trashy to be having sex with your husband while youre living under your sisters roof, not paying any bills. The fact that its the 4th "scare" whatever that means, only aids to irresponsible trashy behavior.

JennaB99 said:
she told us we are in no position for a baby which we are not but still behave this way. She said until we prove otherwise sex is off the table or move out. She knows we have no where to go either.
Click to expand...
The OP agrees they are irresponsible, but still chooses not to be responsible.

She is using her sisters sentiment/good grace and biting the hand that feeds her, by not following her households rules.
Which is trashy.
 
It is not the sisters resposibility to take care of two grown ass married adults. Especially those whom are irresponsible and cant follow rules of a household that is not theirs.

Setting clear boundaries and expecting responsible behavior is not being judgemental.
 
JennaB99 said:
Hello i didnt wanna post but we probably need some harsh advice. So recently married me and my husband live in my older sisters house. She pays all the bills we are both currently not working.
she freaked on us yesterday over my 4th pregnnacy scare. We owe her alot of money promised to pay her back but have not yet. She labeled me immature and said we are not mature enough to be having sex!!! I was on the pill but stopped it due to hormones. We said we would use condoms but that didnt happen either.
she said her house her rules no sex!!!! Is that fair??

she told us we are in no position for a baby which we are not but still behave this way. She said until we prove otherwise sex is off the table or move out. She knows we have no where to go either. We were taken back because we are married adults. Sorry im ranting i know.
Click to expand...
Learn to use birth control.
 
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