Doctor doctor, I've got acute appendicitis
• You've got a cute little dimple too
Doctor, doctor, what's the quickest way to get to hospital?
• lie in the road outside
Doctor, doctor, I've only got 59 seconds to live
• just wait a minute will you . . .
Doctor doctor, I've heard that exercise kills germs; is it true?
• Probably, but how do you get the germs to exercise?