How do you cope with living with someone who's constantly argumentative?

Chomby

Chomby

Active Member
I live with someone who's constantly unsatisfied with what I do and always wants to complain and lecture me. They don't take any accountability for their own flaws and only freak out when I try to prove them wrong about something. I will talk in an acceptable volume and they'll tell me that I'm raising my voice to shut me down. They'll say stuff like, "Talk louder for the neighbors to hear," after they antagonize me. It's driving me crazy. I started screaming at them today because I couldn't cope with it any longer. They've been guilt-tripping and mocking me all day. They called me a lazy b*tch despite the fact that I had just been out fixing something and cut my hand in the process.

I'm sorry to vent, but holy sh*t. I feel like Danny Devito in the film: Throw Momma from the Train. They act a lot like his mother in that movie. They're a very demanding and unhappy person. I just want to be treated with a basic level of respect, but I don't get any, and they are upset when I return the favor. It's getting to be unbearable living with this person, but I don't have any other alternatives right now. What are some potential ways for me to cope with their behavior?

Edit: They just apologized to me I guess, but this an almost daily problem.
 
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Chomby said:
I live with someone who's constantly unsatisfied with what I do and always wants to complain and lecture me. They don't take any accountability for their own flaws and only freak out when I try to prove them wrong about something. I will talk in an acceptable volume and they'll tell me that I'm raising my voice to shut me down. They'll say stuff like, "Talk louder for the neighbors to hear," after they antagonize me. It's driving me crazy. I started screaming at them today because I couldn't cope with it any longer. They've been guilt-tripping and mocking me all day. They called me a lazy b*tch despite the fact that I had just been out fixing something and cut my hand in the process.

I'm sorry to vent, but holy sh*t. I feel like Danny Devito in the film: Throw Momma from the Train. They act a lot like his mother in that movie. They're a very demanding and unhappy person. I just want to be treated with a basic level of respect, but I don't get any, and they are upset when I return the favor. It's getting to be unbearable living with this person, but I don't have any other alternatives right now. What are some potential ways for me to cope with their behavior?

Edit: They just apologized to me I guess, but this an almost daily problem.
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So you accepted their apology for abuse? narcissistic behaviour ? emotional abuse? verbal abuse ? rinse repeat but it's fine because they said sorry? It is NOT fine. You said you have no alternatives? what happens if that abuse turns physical?. Can you not ask a relative for a room until you sort yourself out? My advice? get out of there as fast as you can.
 
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@Chomby is unable to cut contact with this individual, so telling her to leave is ignorant despite how obvious it seems. The truth is, many individuals are trapped in abusive situations. Anyway, rocking may be a potential technique in managing this relationship. Of course, depending on the nature of the emotionally abusive situation, this can provoke them. Simply put, grey rocking is when you deal with a toxic person you're unable to cut out of your life by becoming extremely boring. This can involve interacting with them minimally. Stop sharing your business with them. Share only essential information with them, nothing personal. Give vague responses. Keep conversations with them neutral.

Unfortunately, assertiveness doesn't always work. There are individuals will not respect your boundaries. It's best not to argue with them; it only worsens everything.

Removing yourself from the situation when things get heated is another option. Instead of arguing them, if it's possible walk away. Either go to a private room, or go on a walk.

It'll be worth reaching out to a women's shelter plan for an escape, just incase things escalate.
 
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@Chomby wow you literally described my life with my own narcissist in my family. Loves to create drama and gets all bent out of shape if they're called out on it. My best advice from my experience is to just not say anything. No matter what you say they'll turn it into something no matter how you say or what you say. From my experience they only saw sorry when they want something from you or to make them seem like the good guy. I sincerely apologize for venting about my own. I am also so sorry that you have to go through this.
 
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To be honest maybe your "acquaintance" has had a narcissist person in their life but it's still no excuse for them to treat you like that. I don't know you but what i do know is that nobody deserves that kind of treatment. They need to go to therapy and find out why they're the way they are(if that makes sense). I'm not meaning to sound bossy but please take my advice and don't let if affect you mentally like i have. Ik it's hard but pls try your best. I've found out that it really affects your life if you listen to their behavior and acts also by letting it get to you. P.S If this doesn't make sense pls let me know and i can try to explain better
 
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