Kicked from Lesbian chat for offering constructive criticism to Duckie.

[TheJessica]

The Title says it all. I tried to explain how I feel Duckie could be a better moderator in an honest attempt at solidarity. Yet for offering constructive criticism I was kicked. I simply said she would make more progress by discussing issues with people instead of just kicking everyone. She didn't offer a single responce and just kicked me for "Mod Harrassment". I said "You shouldn't be so punitive", and she so she kicked me instead of saying anything to me.

I try to explain that just kicking people doesn't help, and so she just kicks me.

Is it wrong of me to try to be helpful and explain a more productive method of conflict resolution? Is wanting the chat room to be better. By offering constructive advice to the mods, something I should be punished for?


I'm not just looking for FlameSong to respond to this. I'd like to hear other people's opinions on this in a constructive, troll free, manner.

Am I really in the wrong here?

 

[TheJessica]

To all users, please no trolling.
To the fourm mods/admin, please don't just tag FlameSong and lock the thread. This is for discussion not a rant or trouble making, there shouldn't be a reason to lock it.

 

[ThatRita]

To all users, please no trolling.
To the fourm mods/admin, please don't just tag FlameSong and lock the thread. This is for discussion not a rant or trouble making, there shouldn't be a reason to lock it.

The reason they tag Flame is because she prefers things mod related to be dealt with in her dm. Going on about it here won't lead to anything except derailment. Trolls will troll, and telling them not to will just feel like a challenge.

 

[Pinky]

All I’ll say is that often users don’t have any idea of the history or other logins this person who was kicked might have. Just remember, we see a lot of things you don’t like repetitive behaviour, or maybe they’re well known to the mods and out of chances. Let me just remind everyone of that before we start making accusations of abuse of ‘power’.

 

[TheJessica]

All I’ll say is that often users don’t have any idea of the history or other logins this person who was kicked might have. Just remember, we see a lot of things you don’t like repetitive behaviour, or maybe they’re well known to the mods and out of chances. Let me just remind everyone of that before we start making accusations of abuse of ‘power’.

"Out of chances" so are you saying that constructive criticism is kick worthy? Chances implies that you're giving warnings. Duckie doesn't do that, she just kicks without anything said, no warning, no talking at all. Just kicks. The reason given was "Mod Harrassment". But this criticism was the first time I've ever tried to talk to Duckie. Harrassment implies that Duckie at some point told me to stop. But she never said anything to me at all, no responce. So Duckie's definition of "Harrassment" is, PMing anything ever.

I'm responding to what you have said, I'm trying to talk to you. Would you define this response as "Harrassment"? Because sofar this response is several times as much talking as I've ever said to Duckie combined.

 

[Rachel_NY]

what did you say to get kicked?

 

[TheDifference]

"Out of chances" so are you saying that constructive criticism is kick worthy? Chances implies that you're giving warnings. Duckie doesn't do that, she just kicks without anything said, no warning, no talking at all. Just kicks. The reason given was "Mod Harrassment". But this criticism was the first time I've ever tried to talk to Duckie. Harrassment implies that Duckie at some point told me to stop. But she never said anything to me at all, no responce. So Duckie's definition of "Harrassment" is, PMing anything ever.

I'm responding to what you have said, I'm trying to talk to you. Would you define this response as "Harrassment"? Because sofar this response is several times as much talking as I've ever said to Duckie combined.

Hello,
I think you are combining two issues here and it’s probably better to separate them.
1. Moderators kicking people.
2. Moderator kicking you for offering constructive criticism.

I believe Pinky was referring to issue #1 and I completely agree with her comments. No need to repeat them here.

As for issue #2 that’s a bit more complicated. Each moderator has their own style and preferences. I can only speak for myself but I welcome constructive criticism about my performance as a moderator BUT it needs to be presented appropriately and based on facts.

Just saying “You suck” or “You're too mean” or “You kick too many people” doesn’t really help me. So when someone complains about me, I will always ask them for specific examples to back up their complaint. Nine times out of ten, they can’t back up their complaint and I just move on. 🤷🏻‍♂️

In your case the moderator may not wish to hear your feedback and that’s up to them. If you have a specific complaint about a moderator you can send it to the admin (with examples hopefully 🙂) and they should deal with it.

Good luck 🍀

 

[Deleted member 263960]

The Title says it all. I tried to explain how I feel Duckie could be a better moderator in an honest attempt at solidarity. Yet for offering constructive criticism I was kicked. I simply said she would make more progress by discussing issues with people instead of just kicking everyone. She didn't offer a single responce and just kicked me for "Mod Harrassment". I said "You shouldn't be so punitive", and she so she kicked me instead of saying anything to me.

I try to explain that just kicking people doesn't help, and so she just kicks me.

Is it wrong of me to try to be helpful and explain a more productive method of conflict resolution? Is wanting the chat room to be better. By offering constructive advice to the mods, something I should be punished for?


I'm not just looking for FlameSong to respond to this. I'd like to hear other people's opinions on this in a constructive, troll free, manner.

Am I really in the wrong here?

Thank you for your post. Ofc you are welcome to post in forums about issues, and I see you got various replies from site staff to consider. Generally speaking, around site mods don't appreciate that kind of feedback on main because it can get the room going- feed trolls and the like. TheDifference gave you a very good reply based on his modding experience. Please use @flame_song inbox for further feedback - per her request. Good Luck.

(I'm closing because you say in first paragraph you are taking exception to a mod kicking you- if you want a general discussion about moderators you need to create a post that isn't a complaint and post in either SCandF or a related sub forum. )