Thoughts on parents checking phones?

I think it is a great idea for parents to check what their child is doing on the open web. When the child is old enough to pay for their own internet, the price of the phone, laptop, tower cost associated with being online, which might be a different story for some parents. Children can not even sign a legal document therefore it is a good idea for parents to know what their child is doing online. Technically the parent owns whatever the child is using to get online. The parent is responsible in the court of law in the USA.
Children are just that, children. Why do kids want to grow up so fast is my question?
 
From someone who works with families and children I feel parents should be aware and check on their children's online activities. Just some past case histories in brief, Working with a family that had a 14 year old girl who had eloped before, her mother found out just in the nick of time that her daughter had plans to elope again this time going to Arizona to meet up with a 25 year old man. A quick check was done and the man she had planned on joining up was a registered sex offender, another was a boy 11 who was discovered attempting to fondle a much younger boy. The offending lad had been involved in chat activity with a much older male I think in Road Blocks. The man was sending him links to daddy son type porn. Just a couple of instance but there have been so many others.
Children are vulnerable and they need protection even if that means parents checking their phones etc.
 
I am no expert and I have no children, this is simply my gut feeling.

A level of security should certainly be maintained with computers and phones as well as the whereabouts of where your children explore. If you are caught snooping through your children's things or even randomly checking in front of them, that trust level has been lost and your children won't share anything with you.

I have seen this via a friend who's mother always said: "My house, my rules." meaning, whatever she said is the way it will be without compromise. My friend never shared anything with her parents and couldn't wait to move out due to the excessively strict rules. Others would make fun of her in school because she was the only girl who didn't have a phone and wasn't allowed one until her senior year. Kids can be cruel and mess with your head!

I had strict parents as well with wanting to know where I am and whom I'm with at all times, but we always communicated as they encouraged us to engage with any queries and issues that may arise, I mean anything. They may not like what we said, but will be supportive by telling us what consequences would be if we pursued whatever it was we talked about.

Communication overrules dictation and I think if you have an open communicating relationship with your children the more they will share with you and the more you will get out of each other when conversing about issues. This including online Stalkers, Catfishers and other internet evil doers. Of course there are exceptions to this when your child is completely defiant and will never take your advice.

How you live and what you do and say as a parent is what your children learn.
 
Hello everyone as a Mother of 5 grown kids I don't think kids under 18 should be socializing with Adults in a chat room regardless it leaves room open for all kinds of inappropriate things to take place... we all know kids will be kids n Adults will be Adults naughty or nice doesn't matter we as Adults shouldn't allow kids to be an open target in an Adult chat room many are not respectful on being mature So on kids behalf, they do have a kids/teen rooms to chat on and socialize on why invite them in an Adult environment as an open target to get mentally hurt n abused. and it is our responsibility to protect them. kids will lie about their age I have seen it many times I think if their age says under 18 when registering they shouldn't be allowed to socialize in an Adult room period, no entry is granted it will slow down n stop more illegal to fornicate on pedophilia actions on chat avenue ..Hoping this makes sense its just my view on protecting the children /teens that are unaware of the situation of naughty Adults. Thank you for reading.
 
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It's an invasion of privacy if they're adults which they're not. Kids don't get to have privacy beyond playing in their room with the door closed. With the increase in ways predators can find children with the internet and technology, the old ways have to be adapted to protect children. If I had kids, I would be reluctant to even give them a phone because they don't know better and many kids have gotten in trouble for sending each other inappropriate photos or contacting predators posing as kids.

Same with the computer and before cell phones were able to act as PC's, we had programs to help parents monitor what kids do on their computer, it's much harder to do that with a cell phone if you're not tech savvy. If I gave my kid a phone it would only be for use in emergencies to call me, I'd jail break it and remove any features such as the browser and lock out their ability to download apps. Of course they'll complain but its whats best. Kids shouldn't really have cell phones, it's NOT a toy, it was originally made for making phone calls while you're away from a land line but due to marketing, has become a mini computer for adults. I see parents giving their six year old phones and they have no concept of what it means to have one. I remember being 12 and someone on ICQ asking me to mail them my mother's used underwear for anything I wanted, it really was traumatic for me to be asked that and this person actively searched for me as my age was listed on ICQ, yet I never told my mother. He came off as a nice person looking to chat then he asked me that and it was very odd, so I can only imagine what kids go through today on the internet when its so easy to hide your identity and be advertised.



With all that being said, no, it's not an invasion of privacy, they don't get that luxury when there's many predatory hawks gliding around looking to pick off vulnerable kids. Kids do not get rights that an adult gets because when you're given that sort of privacy its because they know you can make rational choices and know right from wrong or when someone is grooming you, manipulating you, etc, kids do not have that ability yet and that's why they have parents. Anyone who thinks its wrong really shouldn't be a parents in my opinion because you're not being the protective shield they require to grow up.
 
Magdalina said:
I am no expert and I have no children, this is simply my gut feeling.

A level of security should certainly be maintained with computers and phones as well as the whereabouts of where your children explore. If you are caught snooping through your children's things or even randomly checking in front of them, that trust level has been lost and your children won't share anything with you.

I have seen this via a friend who's mother always said: "My house, my rules." meaning, whatever she said is the way it will be without compromise. My friend never shared anything with her parents and couldn't wait to move out due to the excessively strict rules. Others would make fun of her in school because she was the only girl who didn't have a phone and wasn't allowed one until her senior year. Kids can be cruel and mess with your head!

I had strict parents as well with wanting to know where I am and whom I'm with at all times, but we always communicated as they encouraged us to engage with any queries and issues that may arise, I mean anything. They may not like what we said, but will be supportive by telling us what consequences would be if we pursued whatever it was we talked about.

Communication overrules dictation and I think if you have an open communicating relationship with your children the more they will share with you and the more you will get out of each other when conversing about issues. This including online Stalkers, Catfishers and other internet evil doers. Of course there are exceptions to this when your child is completely defiant and will never take your advice.

How you live and what you do and say as a parent is what your children learn.
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Kids can be cruel indeed. My mother raised me alone and because of that, every school year up until high school I had cheap back packs, no Jordans, cheap clothes and it sucked because kids around me were often spoiled and had two parents running the house hold who got them anything they wanted, but it made me appreciate the little things in life and appreciate my mom more because she worked her ass off to provide for me when my father wouldn't. It also made me appreciate single parents and have the up most respect for them as an adult.

There is a fine line between strict and too strict, as being too strict can cause a kid later in life to fall off and indulge in some bad things once they're "free" from their parent's grasps. You see it often with kids who had over bearing parents that once they get into college and away from the sights of their parents, will turn to drugs and alcohol and can't stop because the freedom of doing whatever comes with no consequences and they are unable to see why their parents were strict about some things. It reminds me of parents who invoke fear rather than giving life lessons. If your parent beats you because you do something wrong, you're not going to know why its wrong, you're just going to know if you do it, you'll be hit and its fear rather than rationalizing why they don't want you to do it, that prevents you from doing it at the time.
 
Boba Fett said:
Kids can be cruel indeed. My mother raised me alone and because of that, every school year up until high school I had cheap back packs, no Jordans, cheap clothes and it sucked because kids around me were often spoiled and had two parents running the house hold who got them anything they wanted, but it made me appreciate the little things in life and appreciate my mom more because she worked her ass off to provide for me when my father wouldn't. It also made me appreciate single parents and have the up most respect for them as an adult.

There is a fine line between strict and too strict, as being too strict can cause a kid later in life to fall off and indulge in some bad things once they're "free" from their parent's grasps. You see it often with kids who had over bearing parents that once they get into college and away from the sights of their parents, will turn to drugs and alcohol and can't stop because the freedom of doing whatever comes with no consequences and they are unable to see why their parents were strict about some things. It reminds me of parents who invoke fear rather than giving life lessons. If your parent beats you because you do something wrong, you're not going to know why its wrong, you're just going to know if you do it, you'll be hit and its fear rather than rationalizing why they don't want you to do it, that prevents you from doing it at the time.
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Being the youngest of four girls, I was the one who had the second and third generation hand down clothing that were hard to disguise from schoolmates. "Are you wearing your sister's clothes again?" Yeah, it got annoying! You are correct about appreciating the little things more, especially when you know you worked hard for it. You also take care of those things knowing what you went through to get them.
 
Cici Biscotti said:
Hello everyone as a Mother of 5 grown kids I don't think kids under 18 should be socializing with Adults in a chat room regardless it leaves room open for all kinds of inappropriate things to take place... we all know kids will be kids n Adults will be Adults naughty or nice doesn't matter we as Adults shouldn't allow kids to be an open target in an Adult chat room many are not respectful on being mature So on kids behalf, they do have a kids/teen rooms to chat on and socialize on why invite them in an Adult environment as an open target to get mentally hurt n abused. and it is our responsibility to protect them. kids will lie about their age I have seen it many times I think if their age says under 18 when registering they shouldn't be allowed to socialize in an Adult room period, no entry is granted it will slow down n stop more illegal to fornicate on pedophilia actions on chat avenue ..Hoping this makes sense its just my view on protecting the children /teens that are unaware of the situation of naughty Adults. Thank you for reading.
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Agree 100% However not an easy problem to fix. There would have age recognition software. I had to report some on TikTok and another on the Road Blocks
 
To whom it may concern ......I am a Mom of 5 kids I raised them to be good adults. I don't think it's proper Etiquette for a 13-year-old to have friends over 18 through 75 age gap on their friend's list to chat with that's a huge red flag right there,, why is that allowed? and we wonder why there are "pedophiles on here chatting ...not a good thing to have them here chatting and giving them access to congregate with kids and kids will find a way to be naughty ..bad idea to have them intertwining ..... thanks for reading my viewpoint.
 
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