Violence (including Domestic Violence)

Inkandtatts

Gay Chat Admin/UM
Staff member
Chat Room Administrator
I was inspired to create this thread after noticing one created by @-Luka has vanished and because we’re almost upon domestic violence awareness month. It’s a worthy topic for debate so I’m starting a new thread on it.

Domestic violence/abuse is the violence or abuse of someone you’re in a relationship with.

There has rightly been a huge spotlight in the past 40-50 years on women who suffer domestic violence.

Men can also be sufferers of domestic violence but this is more of a taboo subject, in part because there is a myth that men can’t suffer violence at the hands of women. This is enforced by comments that a man loses their masculinity if they are hit by a woman.

Opening it more widely to violence in general, there is the old saying that “you should never hit a girl” and that’s right but no-one should ever be violent to anyone imo.

The police and the courts treat women more favourably when women are accused of violence against men than when men are accused of violence against women or even other men.

Women who are violent towards men sometimes “play” on their femininity as a defence when accused of violence and have been known to taunt male survivors of violence and to shame them.

This thread is to have a discussion about violence including domestic violence and the role that gender plays in that.

Some key points to think about:

Should men and women be treated equally when there are allegations of violence?

Should men be seen as the “stronger” sex and women as the “weaker” sex and should that play a part in determining how violence is investigated, prosecuted, and punished?

Should survivors of violence be permitted to use that traumatic experience to then excuse their own future behaviour or should punishment and support be offered if they are subsequently violent?



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Domestic violence/abuse is the violence or abuse of someone you’re in a relationship with.
I'd like to point out that in some states in America, that you don't need to be in a relationship with a housing companion to be charged/accused/become a victim of DV.

Men can also be sufferers of domestic violence but this is more of a taboo subject, in part because there is a myth that men can’t suffer violence at the hands of women. This is enforced by comments that a man loses their masculinity if they are hit by a woman.
I think ALL of the "non speaking of it" is taboo ,mainly because of the baby boomer population, they rarely spoke about it creating a commonplace expectation that DV happens in all relationships, and that the female just had to deal/live with it.

look at the Gabby Petito case. she and her then finance/boyfriend were traveling the US. Contrary to 911 calls, she admitted she struck him. in the end the police separated the 2 for 1 night and 1 night only where she took the van and he was escorted to a hotel. yes she may have struck him that day, but in hindsight, it is clear that abuse had been ongoing for quite some time. DV abuse is hardly just physical and you can tell mental warfare was playing out in the footage.
 
I don't often mention this but my mum does pro bono OSINT work for DV survivors and SA survivors as well as a couple of womens' refuges. She gets stuff taken down online, advises on online security, helps clean up cyber footprints, tracks down perpetrators of cyber attacks, tracks down ex partners that owe child support payments and all that good stuff. She says (and I agree) that there is not sufficient open discussion of dv and abuse issues and the culture that allows this to go on unchallenged. Education needs to begin in primary school and continue throughout school like for a kick off. Scotland are ahead of the game on this with Relationships, Sexual Health, and Partnerships (RSHP) being embedded in the school curriculum from ages 3 to 18 but it needs to be a universal education ongoing into adulthood.
 
Men, women and children are all victims of domestic violence world wide, which is a sad reality with so much education and knowledge these days. It is a revolving door syndrome with generations upon generations thinking its ok to behave with emotional, physical, spiritual and financial deprevation towards another. Men are just as vulnerable to this as women and children, the problem with men is the world is conditoned to say suck it up be a man etc etc and not take it seriously while it does the most damage to all involved.

Two classic examples in General Chat (only room I attend) in the previous weeks:
Case 1: Young idiot with a free pass who thinks its amusing to say to women "I will shove my member so far down your throat and make you choke bitch" with forceful connotations (been doing it for a few years now) and hes an alpha man who dominates women etc etc - but if annoyed will spam the room so as I was once told "I dont care about that bullshit I care about spamming" so it continues.

Case 2: An e-couple had a fight and naked pics were spamming into the room and all over the sight, as apparently one of the couple is not a good drinker, while the team of mods were running around trying to stop it being spammed all over chatave and now the couple have made up and are once again wonderful.

Both these scenerios scream DV and abuse but is it overlooked as its online? Is this saying to online its ok to do this online as its not real? Would be interested in a decent discussion.
 
Psychological violence, look at the girls moderators and their agents. Girls actually are more psychopathic than men. Men use physical violence where women use psychological violence.

Its a bunch of hens that wreck a hen, then the bunch moves onto another hen wreck that and so on....conga line of mentally injured hen pecked girl victims.

Welcome to the school yard.

Mean girls.

Well that's.....honestly triggering. (Not your fault, not blaming ❤️, I'm just throwing it out there)

But it is an important topic. It's a sad topic (and triggering) but it is important that people can speak out when necessary.
If you have a deep feeling confused person, gets involved with a cold blooded charmer.

Its a bad thing. Add alcohol drugs, its not a question of when the police get called, its how often.
 
You know, I try to leave you alone. Cause i don't have enough of a care.

But until you've been in love with somebody - and you're afraid to leave em because you've had a kid by em and you're scared to do it on your own - but you're getting the hell beat out of you and it takes almost dying to leave - keep your opinions to yourself and don't try to mansplain it to me.
 
You know, I try to leave you alone. Cause i don't have enough of a care.

But until you've been in love with somebody - and you're afraid to leave em because you've had a kid by em and you're scared to do it on your own - but you're getting the hell beat out of you and it takes almost dying to leave - keep your opinions to yourself and don't try to mansplain it to me.
It takes a woman in a coercively controlled relationship approximately 5 too 7 attempts to leave. Once your in a position of surviving 1 day at a time its tough.

Its important for everyone to have a safe place to live. If a partner cannot nurture and grow a child. If they put their needs ahead of the child then thats a red flag. Get professional suport is my humble opinion.

Once your isolated, your in trouble, and can be exploited.

Severe childhood abuse is cptsd.
 
I don't think it's far to say that anyone puts their needs ahead of a child because they stay in an abusive relationship.

coercively controlled relationship
That's the key. It's not that people put their own needs ahead of their children. It's that they feel they can't leave because often they've been put in a position where they feel they cannot survive without their abusive partner.
 
I don't think it's far to say that anyone puts their needs ahead of a child because they stay in an abusive relationship.


That's the key. It's not that people put their own needs ahead of their children. It's that they feel they can't leave because often they've been put in a position where they feel they cannot survive without their abusive partner.
Financial abuse, look at those psychopathic pimps that rinse hookers for money. They simply do not have the brain to feel love and emotional empathy.
 
Don't tell me I don't have a brain.
And don't tell I was wrong for staying as long as I did. I myself know it was dumb and I don't need you mansplaining a DAMN thing to me.
I've been there, you sorry excuse for a man. I know what it is and isn't.
I am sorry you feel that way. Leave Gender out of this, Domestic Violence is horrific. The Children suffer.

I do Gratitude therapy. Thank you for the wonderful weather... etc ... three things everyday it helps me look on the bright side.

I had severe parents, I had one Angelic Grandfather.
 
I am sorry you feel that way. Leave Gender out of this, Domestic Violence is horrific. The Children suffer.

I do Gratitude therapy. Thank you for the wonderful weather... etc ... three things everyday it helps me look on the bright side.

I had severe parents, I had one Angelic Grandfather.
Until you've had the hell knocked out of you for saying hi your opinion means squat to me.
 
Mad how my thread got me the ban for “questionable content” considering it’s court documented and in the fkn papers 😄

madness, in my opinion.
 
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