Drowning in Insecurity

Possum.

Possum.

Lesbian Chat Mod
Staff member
I hope that everyone is doing alright. Lately I've found myself battling some really intense hatred towards myself, especially when it comes to my relationships even though I've talked to people who've said I've done nothing wrong. I don't have many people in real life and no matter where I look the people I do end up meeting hurt me very badly, by ghosting me or not giving the same amount I'm giving and unfortunately it always comes back to me wondering if there's something about me that people just don't like or get. I'm starting to shut down in general, even distancing myself from people I love because I'm scared. There's only so many different forms of heartache a girl can handle at once. How do I get out of this?
 
Feeling down on yourself and dealing with repeated letdowns in relationships is tough. It's totally understandable you're feeling scared and worn out.
Just so you know, you're not alone in this struggle. Loads of people wrestle with self doubt and fear of rejection, especially when it feels like every relationship hits a dead end. But listen, your worth isn't tied to other people's actions or opinions. You're valuable just as you are, and you deserve respect and kindness.
Have you thought about talking to a therapist or counselor? Sometimes having somebody to chat with can really help sort through all those complicated feelings and come up with strategies to deal with them.
In the meantime, try to relax. Give yourself credit for facing these emotions head on! And make sure to do things that bring you joy and peace, whether it's taking walks, meditating, basically try to do something whatever helps even if it's only a little bit. It's totally okay to set boundaries with relationships that aren't serving you well right now. Surround yourself with supportive people who lift you up and remind you how awesome you are. And remember, it's not selfish to put your own wellbeing first.
 
Possum. said:
no matter where I look the people I do end up meeting hurt me very badly, by ghosting me or not giving the same amount I'm giving
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Relationship expert here.

found your problem.

You are giving and expecting something in return. You are setting conditions on something you expect to receive unconditionally. This is only going to lead to resentment and disappointment.

When you set expectations you set obligations. Obligations your significant others may be incapable of fulfilling.
 
jamie40134 said:
And why would I need to be silenced at your request?

YOUR MOD is the one I quoted!

Fix your own ish

@Chatmaster @Administrator
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keep out the walking dead GIF
 
Possum. said:
I hope that everyone is doing alright. Lately I've found myself battling some really intense hatred towards myself, especially when it comes to my relationships even though I've talked to people who've said I've done nothing wrong. I don't have many people in real life and no matter where I look the people I do end up meeting hurt me very badly, by ghosting me or not giving the same amount I'm giving and unfortunately it always comes back to me wondering if there's something about me that people just don't like or get. I'm starting to shut down in general, even distancing myself from people I love because I'm scared. There's only so many different forms of heartache a girl can handle at once. How do I get out of this?
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Boundaries babe, that's all you can do. Remember to have boundaries, there's some really neat arses out there who will tell you everything you want to hear and then poof they leave because they were never there to begin with.

See if this helps, it wasn't you in completion that caused you to feel as you have, it was the act or acts of another person who you trusted - you trusted and you didn't expect to be treated as you have
Say no to those feelings you have, that heartache you feel, and consider to take the experience as lessons

It's not nice to be alone, to some it may be, but to other it isn't and that's understandable

Cheerio luv, we know how you feel, hopefully people's responses will uplift you here rather than judge you wrongly.

You are never alone.

Xo
 
Pretend you are the greatest person to ever exist, and that nothing is wrong with you whatsoever. With enough gaslighting yourself, you'll eventually forget its an act and it'll just be natural.

To avoid worsening your mental health, do not actually do any of that. I'd say just think about possible things that COULD be a you problem when you feel you've done something wrong, if it gets too much, distract yourself with something for a bit, till your a bit more clear in the mind. If it turns out it is GENUINELY an issue with you, work on fixing it if you see it as promblematic and could be better for you, if its not you, then maybe just distance yourself from the person as its simply a clash of personality, and dont force yourself to keep trying to appeal to people you simply dont match with. Of course, ALL of that easier said than done, but worth a shot
 
Bampot 2.0 said:
Boundaries babe, that's all you can do. Remember to have boundaries, there's some really neat arses out there who will tell you everything you want to hear and then poof they leave because they were never there to begin with.

See if this helps, it wasn't you in completion that caused you to feel as you have, it was the act or acts of another person who you trusted - you trusted and you didn't expect to be treated as you have
Say no to those feelings you have, that heartache you feel, and consider to take the experience as lessons

It's not nice to be alone, to some it may be, but to other it isn't and that's understandable

Cheerio luv, we know how you feel, hopefully people's responses will uplift you here rather than judge you wrongly.

You are never alone.

Xo
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well said bampot
Give Me Five GIF by Brooklyn Nine-Nine
 
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