I tell best dad jokes

[Deleted member 279365]

Who is the most lonely billionaire?

Alone Musk.

 

[Mayhem]

What do you call a joke that can't use its legs?

A lame joke

Lmaooooo

 

[Deleted member 250213]

What do you call a joke that cannot use its legs and thinks it's a donkey?


A lame ass joke

 

[Mayhem]

What do you call a fish with no eyes ?




fsh

 

[Deleted member 250213]

I was laughing my head off trying to tie two pieces of rope together.

It was knot funny

 

[Mayhem]

What do you call a sad strawberry?


a blue berry

 

[Deleted member 250213]

I was reading a book on learning how to do mountain skiing. It's been downhill ever since

 

[Deleted member 250213]

I never was a fan of beards, now it is slowly growing on me

 

[SerenityMoon]

I don’t get why Marvel doesn’t use the Hulk to advertise more. He’s basically one big Banner.

 

[Deleted member 250213]

Me: "Hey have you heard the joke about short term memory loss?"

Other person: "No...?"

Me: "Hey have you heard the joke about short term memory loss?"

 

[SerenityMoon]

I will never understand why manslaughter is illegal. Men should be able to laugh at whatever they want.

 

[Hassy]

Why do ducks make great detectives? They always quack the case.

 

[SerenityMoon]

I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I'll let you know...

 

[frying nemo]

what do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? still no idea

 

[SerenityMoon]

I told my boyfriend he was the only one I had ever dated... all the others were nines and tens.

 

[MissMotive]

My wife asked me to go get 6 cans of Sprite from the shops. I realised when I got home that I had picked 7 up.

 

[Hassy]

I had a hen who could count her own eggs.

She’s a mathmachicken.

 

[Mayhem]

What does a house wear?




address

 

[Mayhem]

Why couldn’t the couple get married in a library?


it was all booked up

 

[SerenityMoon]

What brand of underwear do scientists wear? Kelvin Klein.

 

[Deleted member 250213]

Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one orders a H Two O. The second orders a H 2 O too. The second scientist dies.

(lets see how many get that one...)

 

[SerenityMoon]

When two vegans get in an argument, is it still called a beef?

 

[Deleted member 279365]

What did the police officer say to his belly-button?

You’re under a vest.

 

[CherryNoir]

- What did 50 Cent do when he got hungry? 58.

- Why did Timmy cross the road? He wasn't wearing any seatbelt.

- What did the breast say to another? "If we don't get any support people will think we're nuts!"



You seen the spotify bug? I can't seem to find you in this week's hottest singles list. 😏

 

[SerenityMoon]

My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer. I'm not too worried, I think she's jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf

 

[Mayhem]

What is Santas favorite candy ?



jolly rancher

 

[SerenityMoon]

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

 

[Fluffy Wuffy]

Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?

In case they get a hole-in-one!

 

[SerenityMoon]

I don’t get why Marvel doesn’t use the Hulk to advertise more. He’s basically one big Banner.