Things women want to say to men

Okay, which one of you brutes is gonna move our couch?

Signed, The Lesbos Who Want a New Couch

*being gay not necessary but would be a bonus.
You need a couch moved, did you say? I can help you out. I’ve got the perfect spot for it beneath the window in my front room.
 
You need a couch moved, did you say? I can help you out. I’ve got the perfect spot for it beneath the window in my front room.
Perfect!

Oh, our child maybe have spit up on it...is that an issue? I mean you could just put a pillow over that spot. I speak from experience.
 
Perfect!

Oh, our child maybe have spit up on it...is that an issue? I mean you could just put a pillow over that spot. I speak from experience.
That’s fine! If I throw you a couple of pounds, can you clean it for me? It needs a woman’s touch 😉
 
That’s fine! If I throw you a couple of pounds, can you clean it for me? It needs a woman’s touch 😉
lol I'm not sure I've ever been paid to clean before, come to think of it. I'm not very good at domesticity, that's what the other one is for! That would be more her gig. I'm a very good supervisor, however, so have no fear, the spot will be clear.
 
lol I'm not sure I've ever been paid to clean before, come to think of it. I'm not very good at domesticity, that's what the other one is for! That would be more her gig. I'm a very good supervisor, however, so have no fear, the spot will be clear.
Haha perfect! Free couch and free cleaning. I’m in a roll.

Happy birthday btw! Just saw your name on the list
 
Ladies if you’ve got something the guys need to hear , put it here.

Little Rascals Girls GIF
 
Lesbo is an island. The word is Lesbian. Look it up.
Thank you for educating me on the word that has been central to my identity for multiple decades and which I wear loudly and proudly, well, everywhere. Usually, it's a certain type of guy that does the 'splaining, but I guess that's not exclusive. I will now refrain from using words for comedic effect in my posts, so people don't assume I don't know what I'm talking about and/or question my sexuality or intelligence.

....can't hold it in much longer....

GAHHHHHHHH....

*LOUD FART NOISES*

*QUEEF*

*BURP*

*VOMIT*

*LESBOS LESBOS LESBOS LESBOS LESBOS LESBOS*

ahh, I feel better now.
 
Thank you for educating me on the word that has been central to my identity for multiple decades and which I wear loudly and proudly, well, everywhere. Usually, it's a certain type of guy that does the 'splaining, but I guess that's not exclusive. I will now refrain from using words for comedic effect in my posts, so people don't assume I don't know what I'm talking about and/or question my sexuality or intelligence.

....can't hold it in much longer....

GAHHHHHHHH....

*LOUD FART NOISES*

*QUEEF*

*BURP*

*VOMIT*

*LESBOS LESBOS LESBOS LESBOS LESBOS LESBOS*

ahh, I feel better now.
Wait are you a lesbian? Did you know that means you like women?!
 
I'm seeing this a day late but I'm having QAF vibes

Can me and my other half be the Brian and Michael to your Melanie and Lindsay...please?
uh, yes please!

Also, I should have mentioned having an accent would be a bonus too. Totally forgot that part. Just checking multiple boxes here.
 
Wait are you a lesbian? Did you know that means you like women?!
Oh, is that what it means? Wow, I no idea! Wish someone would have told me that before.

Oh well, time to go watch the Natalie Portman dance scene in Closer for 100th time. Cheers!

Clive Owen you lucky bastard you.
 
Oh, is that what it means? Wow, I no idea! Wish someone would have told me that before.

Oh well, time to go watch the Natalie Portman dance scene in Closer for 100th time. Cheers!

Clive Owen you lucky bastard you.
You’re welcome! I don’t understand how lesbian relationships work, what with there being an absence of a man to tell you what to do! But it’s 2022 and I’m glad things like this are starting to become public knowledge!
 
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