Things women want to say to men

Deer Popcorn GIF
 
I thought the girls were gonna take off over here. Nothing happening in this side .. Where are the “ there’s not any angle you can take a picture of that thing that’s going to make it look better “ comments.
 
Dear men when you wake up and decide - today is the day im gonna send her dik pic, make sure its atleast somewhat artistic =3
Good angles, artistic touch, well trimmed and if you need inspo g*ogle porn =3 ask @Finn2.0 he'll educate you on how to use go*gle 😀
 
-MaDDy- said:
Dear men when you wake up and decide - today is the day im gonna send her dik pic, make sure its atleast somewhat artistic =3
Good angles, artistic touch, well trimmed and if you need inspo g*ogle porn =3 ask @Finn2.0 he'll educate you on how to use go*gle 😀
Click to expand...
I'm well versed in using gooogle. However, sending explicit pictures is something I am not and will never be involved in. If anyone wants advice on that, I suggest tweeting your local MP.
 
Epiphany said:
🙄 if I wanted to see I'd ask to see it. When y'all send D pics out of the blue, unsolicited, we show our friends and we laugh at it. Sorry but not sorry.
Click to expand...
As a corollary thought (mind you, I’m a gay man): unsolicited dick pics are already icky, but unsolicited dick pics of just the dick and precisely zero additional context are just weird.

If you actively crop a picture so that only your junk is visible, you’re a strange bloke with presumably some insecurities I can’t be bothered to take on.
 
Ooooo I got one! Yes, I enjoy working on cars, riding four wheelers, getting down and dirty (literally. Mud puddles are fun to ride through.) and no I don’t need my significant others permission to do any of those things.
 
SallyStitches said:
Ooooo I got one! Yes, I enjoy working on cars, riding four wheelers, getting down and dirty (literally. Mud puddles are fun to ride through.) and no I don’t need my significant others permission to do any of those things.
Click to expand...
Did your man say you could post this?!
 
Finn2.0 said:
I’m going to type all of my posts like this from now on without punctuation and very long overlong much too long for anyone to follow along but without punctuations and this is even giving me a headache it’s much too long but I’m not stopping someone stop me
Click to expand...
I like that keep doing that please it’s making my brain tingly and it’s addictive af to do this oh god I can’t stop laughing send help
 
It’s too much fun. It makes your head spin and it’s more difficult to do than I thought. Keep typing without thinking what you want to type and see how long you can keep it going without stopping or until you run out of things to say and hope everyone doesn’t end up dying trying to read what you wrote without stopping or until you run out of things to say
 
Omg this is seriously my new favorite thing I don’t ever want to use punctuation ever again it’s a lot of fun and I think everyone should do this from now on I think y’all would enjoy the brain tingle too it’s hilarious for no reason too I’m enjoying this way too much now
 
Drugs are bad, kids. I took a paracetamol when I got home and I’m tripping balls. Forgive me
 
Finn2.0 said:
Drugs are bad, kids. I took a paracetamol when I got home and I’m tripping balls. Forgive me
Click to expand...
Forgiven but if you post sh*t like this again, you’re on the naughty step

Finn2.0 said:
I’m going to type all of my posts like this from now on without punctuation and very long overlong much too long for anyone to follow along but without punctuations and this is even giving me a headache it’s much too long but I’m not stopping someone stop me
Click to expand...
 
punky hepburn said:
Okay, which one of you brutes is gonna move our couch?

Signed, The Lesbos Who Want a New Couch

*being gay not necessary but would be a bonus.
Click to expand...
You need a couch moved, did you say? I can help you out. I’ve got the perfect spot for it beneath the window in my front room.
 
Finn2.0 said:
You need a couch moved, did you say? I can help you out. I’ve got the perfect spot for it beneath the window in my front room.
Click to expand...
Perfect!

Oh, our child maybe have spit up on it...is that an issue? I mean you could just put a pillow over that spot. I speak from experience.
 
punky hepburn said:
Perfect!

Oh, our child maybe have spit up on it...is that an issue? I mean you could just put a pillow over that spot. I speak from experience.
Click to expand...
That’s fine! If I throw you a couple of pounds, can you clean it for me? It needs a woman’s touch 😉
 
Finn2.0 said:
That’s fine! If I throw you a couple of pounds, can you clean it for me? It needs a woman’s touch 😉
Click to expand...
lol I'm not sure I've ever been paid to clean before, come to think of it. I'm not very good at domesticity, that's what the other one is for! That would be more her gig. I'm a very good supervisor, however, so have no fear, the spot will be clear.
 
punky hepburn said:
lol I'm not sure I've ever been paid to clean before, come to think of it. I'm not very good at domesticity, that's what the other one is for! That would be more her gig. I'm a very good supervisor, however, so have no fear, the spot will be clear.
Click to expand...
Haha perfect! Free couch and free cleaning. I’m in a roll.

Happy birthday btw! Just saw your name on the list
 
AshleeLightBringer said:
Lesbo is an island. The word is Lesbian. Look it up.
Click to expand...
Thank you for educating me on the word that has been central to my identity for multiple decades and which I wear loudly and proudly, well, everywhere. Usually, it's a certain type of guy that does the 'splaining, but I guess that's not exclusive. I will now refrain from using words for comedic effect in my posts, so people don't assume I don't know what I'm talking about and/or question my sexuality or intelligence.

....can't hold it in much longer....

GAHHHHHHHH....

*LOUD FART NOISES*

*QUEEF*

*BURP*

*VOMIT*

*LESBOS LESBOS LESBOS LESBOS LESBOS LESBOS*

ahh, I feel better now.
 
punky hepburn said:
Thank you for educating me on the word that has been central to my identity for multiple decades and which I wear loudly and proudly, well, everywhere. Usually, it's a certain type of guy that does the 'splaining, but I guess that's not exclusive. I will now refrain from using words for comedic effect in my posts, so people don't assume I don't know what I'm talking about and/or question my sexuality or intelligence.

....can't hold it in much longer....

GAHHHHHHHH....

*LOUD FART NOISES*

*QUEEF*

*BURP*

*VOMIT*

*LESBOS LESBOS LESBOS LESBOS LESBOS LESBOS*

ahh, I feel better now.
Click to expand...
Wait are you a lesbian? Did you know that means you like women?!
 
Inkandtatts said:
I'm seeing this a day late but I'm having QAF vibes

Can me and my other half be the Brian and Michael to your Melanie and Lindsay...please?
Click to expand...
uh, yes please!

Also, I should have mentioned having an accent would be a bonus too. Totally forgot that part. Just checking multiple boxes here.
 
Finn2.0 said:
Wait are you a lesbian? Did you know that means you like women?!
Click to expand...
Oh, is that what it means? Wow, I no idea! Wish someone would have told me that before.

Oh well, time to go watch the Natalie Portman dance scene in Closer for 100th time. Cheers!

Clive Owen you lucky bastard you.
 
punky hepburn said:
Oh, is that what it means? Wow, I no idea! Wish someone would have told me that before.

Oh well, time to go watch the Natalie Portman dance scene in Closer for 100th time. Cheers!

Clive Owen you lucky bastard you.
Click to expand...
You’re welcome! I don’t understand how lesbian relationships work, what with there being an absence of a man to tell you what to do! But it’s 2022 and I’m glad things like this are starting to become public knowledge!
 
Finn2.0 said:
You’re welcome! I don’t understand how lesbian relationships work, what with there being an absence of a man to tell you what to do! But it’s 2022 and I’m glad things like this are starting to become public knowledge!
Click to expand...
Thank you for giving me an excuse to post my favorite PM I've received so far:

https://imgur.com/a/lYu2Wex

Was this you!??!?!?!
 
Finn2.0 said:
No, silly! I know how they work. Lots of fights over the dishes and the housework
Click to expand...
lol thank **** we have a dishwasher now. but there's always something else to add to the list
 
punky hepburn said:
lol thank **** we have a dishwasher now. but there's always something else to add to the list
Click to expand...
No rest for the wicked! The trick is to be the man in the relationship and make your girlfriend do everything!

Also don’t hate me. I’m not actually sexist
 
Finn2.0 said:
No rest for the wicked! The trick is to be the man in the relationship and make your girlfriend do everything!

Also don’t hate me. I’m not actually sexist
Click to expand...
lol I know you're not.

I do, however, fully support marrying someone who is much better at being domestic than you and reaping the benefits. 🙂
 
punky hepburn said:
lol I know you're not.

I do, however, fully support marrying someone who is much better at being domestic than you and reaping the benefits. 🙂
Click to expand...
Did you know lesbians can get married now?! How amazing is that? Maybe I’ll marry a lesbian. Straight chicks are crazy.
 
Finn2.0 said:
Did you know lesbians can get married now?! How amazing is that? Maybe I’ll marry a lesbian. Straight chicks are crazy.
Click to expand...
Pfft, don't marry a lesbian. My wife made that mistake. Marry a bisexual. Trust me. Then you can tell them they're trending lesbian or trending straight to piss them off. Works like a charm.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top