Blonde Joke

A blonde decided to paint a room.

When her husband got home, he asked, ‘Why are you wearing a ski jacket and a winter coat?’

She replied, ‘The can said for best results apply 2 coats.’
 
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor’s office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.

“Impossible!” says the doctor. “Show me.”

The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left breast and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed in even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.

The doctor said, “You’re not really a redhead, are you?

“Well, no” she said, “I’m actually a blonde.”

“I thought so,” the doctor said. “Your finger is broken.”
 
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.

She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together.

Just yesterday one of you takes away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!!"
 
A blonde goes to a doctor and tells him that both her ears are burnt.

'Sit down and tell me how it happened,' said the doctor.

'Well, I was ironing my clothes when I received a phone call, and instead of picking the phone, I picked up the iron and burnt my ear!'

'Okay, I see...But that's one ear - what about the other?'

'They called again!!
 
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died.

After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.

She says, "What's the story?"
He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor"
She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"
 
A blonde has sharp pains in her side.

The doctor examines her and says, "You have acute appendicitis."

The blonde says, "That's sweet, doc, but I came here to get medical help."
 
The assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve.

“Six please,” she said, “I could never eat twelve!”
 
Did you hear about the near‑tragedy at the mall?

There was a power outage, and twelve blondes were stuck on the escalators for over four hours.
 
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.

Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!

The trooper cranked down his window and yelled to the driver, "PULL OVER!"

"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "SCARF!"
 
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