The Vending Machine

You get hot melted cheese dripping on your shoes and a cleaning bill for the machine

I put in a brass tack
 
You get bitten by Hannah Faye and turn into her every full moon

I put in my bitch of a dog. Someone can have her
 
You get my handsome but lazy and eggless stud of a dog in exchange.

I put in Hannah's boob tattoo.
 
You get a PM from fringe queen asking for song recommendations.

I put in the daily mail newspaper
 
You get a barrel full of ignorance, bigotry, bile, and general nastiness

I put in a blank usb stick
 
you get it back but it’s now full of out of context screenshots from my phone

I put in a coin what do I get
 
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