Offensive jokes thread

[Akrta]

I asked the surgeon if I could administer my own anesthetic, they said: go ahead, knock yourself out.

 

[Akrta]

I used to have a job at a calendar factory but I got the sack because I took a couple of days off.

 

[Bampot 2.0]

I used to have a job at a calendar factory but I got the sack because I took a couple of days off.

 

[Pandora]

What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common?









A wet nose.

 

[H.R. PufnStuf]

Why was the leper hockey game stopped?


There was a face off in the corner.

 

[Bread.]

A man has an accident with his new Ferrari.

The police arrive and the man distraughtly yells at the officer "my brand new car is gone"
The police man tells him that hes so materialistic that he doesnt even realise his left arm has been severed.
The man looks at his left arm and yells OMG my rolex is gone!

 

[Bampot 2.0]

A man has an accident with his new Ferrari.

The police arrive and the man distraughtly yells at the officer "my brand new car is gone"
The police man tells him that hes so materialistic that he doesnt even realise his left arm has been severed.
The man looks at his left arm and yells OMG my rolex is gone!

I had wholemeal bread and I thort of youu

will you be my maldito and I your maldita?

 

[-Luka]

What do you call Down syndrome karate champion?

Spackie chan.

Don’t @ me inb4 ban because title of thread

 

[Pandora]

My senior relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying things like, “You’ll be next!”

They stopped once I started doing the same to them at funerals.

 

[Bread.]

Why are crippled people picked on?
Cuz they can't stand up for themselves!

 

[Pandora]

What do you call inexpensive circumcision? A rip-off.

 

[Akrta]

Why is no one friends with Dracula? Because he's a pain in the neck.

 

[Akrta]

What kind of music do planets listen to? Nep-tunes.

 

[Bread.]

What do all the other planets in our solar system and chat ave forum members have in common?

They all have no life

 

[Pandora]

What do all the other planets in our solar system and chat ave forum members have in common?

They all have no life

Ouch!

Today was a rough day, my ex got run over by a school bus ...............and I lost my job as a bus driver.