Offensive jokes thread

Mrs Man said:
Because of a bad case of hemorrhoids, a gay bottom @Ytodd goes to Dr @Snoogles and he
prescribes him suppositories, but when it comes time to use them @Ytodd is afraid he will do it wrong.
So he goes into the bathroom and bends over and looks through his legs into the mirror to line up the target. All of a sudden, his penis becomes stiff, blocking his view and he says oh stop it and scolds his organ, It's only me.
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offensive jokes shouldnt be about specific people here. Thats just abusive behaviour, and lame, and also unfunny.
 
Two car salesmen @TheDifference and @Obscure were sitting at the bar. @TheDifference complained to the @Obscure , "Boy, this economy sucks. If I don't sell more cars this month, I'm going to lose my f*cking arse!"
Too late, @TheDifference noticed @cuteMags , sitting two stools away. Immediately, he offered apologies for his use of bad language. "That's okay," @cuteMags replied, "I have a very similar problem. If I don't sell more arse this month, I'm going to lose my f*cking car!"
 
Mrs Man said:
@TheDifference @TheLeigh @Inkandtatts all the jokes that I posted and tagged people on here in them. You can go ahead and delete them if you like because some didn’t find them funny ok thanks.
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it's not particularly funny when you tag and talk about people here, but you do what you do.
The question is - Do you think it's funny? probably not.

You are all good though. Probabaly.
If they are cool with it, then it isnt a problem 🙂
 
RandomGuyUK said:
it's not particularly funny when you tag and talk about people here, but you do what you do.
The question is - Do you think it's funny? probably not.

You are all good though. Probabaly.
If they are cool with it, then it isnt a problem 🙂
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I agree with you 100% thank you
 
TheJessica said:
My Grief Counselor must have been really great at his job, when he died, I didn't care.

Old people at weddings kept telling me "You'll be next", so I started saying it back to them at funerals.

I still remember my grandfather's last words, "Are you still holding the ladder?"

When I look back on my life I think about all the people I've lost along the way, I guess I shouldn't have been a wilderness tour guide.

Why do the Scotts wear kilts? Because sheep can hear zippers.

Some people say I'm looking for sexual partners in all the wrong places, other people just call it grave robbing.

I tried to warn my friend about playing Russian roulette. It went in one ear and out the other.

Did you hear the joke about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.

You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving more than once.

My dad died when we couldn’t remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without him.

Make a man a fire and he'll be warm for a night. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

I have many jokes about unemployed people, sadly none of them work.

Why can’t you get a book on how to commit suicide at a library?
Because you wouldn’t bring it back.

What makes sad people jump?
Bridges.

Why can’t Michael Jackson go within 500 metres of a school?
Because he’s dead.

A man and a woman are walking through the woods at night when the woman says “I’m scared”.
“How do you think I feel?” The man replies. “I have to walk back alone.”

What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body?
I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

Why is it that if you donate a kidney, people love you.
But if you donate five kidneys, they call the police.

Where did terrorist go during the bombing?
Everywhere.

I love telling jokes about orphans. What are they going to do, tell their parents?

When does a joke become a  dad joke?
When it leaves and never comes back.

Why did two Asian parents have an Asian baby?
Because two wongs don’t make a white.

Dark humor is like food
Not everyone gets it.


I think that about covers it.
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"Why can’t you get a book on how to commit suicide at a library?
Because you wouldn’t bring it back.

What makes sad people jump?
Bridges." JUST MWAH
 
BlackLivesMatter said:
What do you call a ginger woman who gets called for a date? Answer surprised.
Why do red heads never have mirrors? Answer they are soulless and cast no reflection.
What do you call a guy walking arm in arm with a red head woman? Answer Hostage.
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disintegrating-funny.gif
 
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