One Liners

[frying nemo]

If you're ever jumped by a group of clowns, go for the juggler.

pmsl nice one

 

[Deleted member 250213]

When the thread said "One Liners" all I can think of is the Titanic. That was one big liner.

 

[SerenityMoon]

I told him to be himself; that was pretty mean, I guess.

 

[SerenityMoon]

My therapist says I have a preoccupation for revenge. We’ll see about that.

 

[Deleted member 221990]

Bloody Hell

 

[SerenityMoon]

I called my therapist and told the receptionist that I think I'm invisible. She said she was sorry the Dr can't see me right now.

 

[algorithm]

if an illegal immigrant and a child molester have a fist fight, is it Alien vs Predator?

 

[SerenityMoon]

I used to have a handle on life, but then it broke.

 

[Deleted member 221990]

Fatoot 😀

 

[SerenityMoon]

If a woman sleeps with 10 men she's a ****, but if a man does it… He's gay, definitely gay.

 

[MissMotive]

What do you do with a dead chemist?

You barium.

 

[AshleeLightBringer]

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman where the Self-Help section was… She said if she told me it would defeat the purpose.

 

[Deleted member 221990]

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman where the Self-Help section was… She said if she told me it would defeat the purpose.

Oh light bringer you certainly are a bringer!

 

[SerenityMoon]

What's the difference between your wife and your job?

Your job still sucks.

 

[little cindy lou who]

Urology .. can you hold please ?

 

[SerenityMoon]

The problem isn’t that obesity runs in your family. It’s that no one runs in your family.

 

[Control Panel]

You're all so sweet and

.

 

[algorithm]

you're so backward you sit on your TV and watch the couch.

 

[SerenityMoon]

Life is like toilet paper, you're either on a roll or taking **** from some asshole.

 

[Deleted member 221990]

AYE FER FOCK SAKE LOL <3.