One Liners

[Daft_Punk]

Two fish are in a tank, one looks at the other and says: "You know how to drive this thing?"

Two fish are swimming in the water...right into a wall, one looks at the other and says: "Dam"

 

[Bill Kember]

he he ))

 

[Daft_Punk]

What do you call security guards outside of a Samsung store?

Guardians of the Galaxy

 

[Justin Case]

Two fish are in a tank, one looks at the other and says: "You know how to drive this thing?"

Two fish are swimming in the water...right into a wall, one looks at the other and says: "Dam"

I just have to say you're jokes you posted it might just be me but they sound a little fishy

 

[Andy*]

Geology puns rock...
Andy

 

[SerenityMoon]

It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.

 

[Andy*]

Its all fun and games , until you lose the keys to the handcuffs.
Andy

 

[SerenityMoon]

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I have no ides.

 

[Ks_guy]

Just burned 2,000 calories. That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.

 

[Inkandtatts]

Pollen is what happens when flowers can’t keep it in their plants.

 

[Deleted member 221990]

Nout!

 

[Inkandtatts]

If we shouldn’t eat at night, why do they put a light in the fridge?

 

[MissMotive]

Don’t you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I know I do.

 

[SerenityMoon]

If we shouldn’t eat at night, why do they put a light in the fridge?

Why is the letter D in fridge but not refrigerator?

 

[Deleted member 221990]

👅👅👅👅👅👅

 

[Aflyingdonut]

What do you call security guards outside of a Samsung store?

Guardians of the Galaxy

Ha ha that was a good one

 

[Ian2003]

I saw two guys wearing matching clothing and I asked if they were gay. They quickly arrested me.

I'm not saying your perfume is too strong. I'm just saying the canary was alive before you got here.

 

[Soundz123]

If you're ever jumped by a group of clowns, go for the juggler.

 

[Jackobeem]

My boyfriend asked me for a double entendre, so I gave him one.

My grief counsellor just died, and he was so good I didn't give a sh*t about it

 

[Jackobeem]

Ooo, or one of my dad's favourite jokes

When I die, I hope I go quickly, quietly and peacefully, like my grandfather; not screaming and terrified, like his passengers.