One Liners

[TechWiz]

One liner 😆

 

[SerenityMoon]

I went to a friends new house. He told me to make myself at home. So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.

 

[Ness_eb]

Thank god i got my library card cause i am checking you out. lol

 

[SerenityMoon]

I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium, you're "being a respectful friend." Do it at home and you're "destroying evidence."

 

[SouthernButchCharm]

I used to be addicted to soap , but thankfully I'm clean now

 

[SerenityMoon]

I use to be addicted to the Hokey Pokey but I turned myself around.

 

[SouthernButchCharm]

what do you call a fish wearing a tie ? Sofishticated

 

[SerenityMoon]

Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it's a soap opera.

 

[SouthernButchCharm]

How does the moon cut it's hair ? "eclipse it ".

 

[SerenityMoon]

I used to have a handle on life, but then it broke.

 

[SouthernButchCharm]

Don't you hate it when someone answers their own questions ? I do

 

[SerenityMoon]

If I don't look like my profile picture, I'll keep on buying you drinks

 

[-Luka]

Why do you call an orphan taking a selfie?

Family Portrait.

 

[SerenityMoon]

To the man in the wheelchair that stole my camouflage jacket… You can hide but you can’t run.

 

[Irish_lady]

two blondes heading to disney sign said *disney land left* so they started crying and went home

 

[Irish_lady]

I know they say money talks.. all mine says is goodbye

 

[SerenityMoon]

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather… Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

 

[redcrazykid]

Banana

 

[SerenityMoon]

I went to buy some camo pants but couldn’t find any.

 

[Deleted member 221990]

I went to buy some camo pants but couldn’t find any.

Nina.