Suicide Talk for Attention

Is talking about Suicide for Attention normal & socially acceptable???

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babydolla

babydolla

Gold Member
in reference to this thread; https://forum.chat-avenue.com/threads/ban-katelyn_uk.945990/

wat is everyone's thoughts about someone talking about wanting to die & suicide for attention, asking ppl to please kill them, total strangers for pity???

should this be something that is socially acceptable in a community that hosts minors who very well could be suffering with these very issues, just to has some mentally ill adult deprived of attention use that suffering to fuel their own selfish interest???

vote & discuss
 
Absolutely not. It shouldn’t be tolerated by ******** or staff especially because as you alluded to, there could be minors or even adult dealing with a host of mental issues. It shouldn’t be ok online or off. I just found out today that a customer who shopped in our store recently killed herself with a gun. Pretty shocking. You never know what someone is going through. To make light of those things by joking about suicide is morally reprehensible.
 
Kicking a chatter for talking about wanting to kill themselves shouldn't be a kickable offence!!

Maybe the staff should be caring and be a good listener to someone who feels suicidal? Kicking them would make them feel worse.

Why not be a hero and help them to NOT want to kill themselves? Be supportive and compassionate. When you're depressed you just want someone to talk to, so no...I don't think the staff should be kicking ******** for feeling suicidal - I think that's heartless.
 
BritishandProud said:
Kicking a chatter for talking about wanting to kill themselves shouldn't be a kickable offence!!

Maybe the staff should be caring and be a good listener to someone who feels suicidal? Kicking them would make them feel worse.

Why not be a hero and help them to NOT want to kill themselves? Be supportive and compassionate. When you're depressed you just want someone to talk to, so no...I don't think the staff should be kicking ******** for feeling suicidal - I think that's heartless.
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If someone is really suicidal they should be on a suicide prevention line, not a chatroom looking for attention
 
DarthErica said:
If someone is really suicidal they should be on a suicide prevention line, not a chatroom looking for attention
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That's your opinion. Some people come to chatrooms to vent and what if they don't know how to contact a suicide prevention line? Maybe help them and direct them to it? instead of just kicking them out of the room straight away. That's cruel
 
BritishandProud said:
That's your opinion. Some people come to chatrooms to vent and what if they don't know how to contact a suicide prevention line? Maybe help them and direct them to it? instead of just kicking them out of the room straight away. That's cruel
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I hear what you’re saying. However my post was in context to the original point of the thread which is that of a chatter coming into a chatroom making those claims simply for attention. Making a game of it if you will. I e seen the screenshots from the other thread and if someone is getting kicked multiple times the. It’s clear they’re just looking for attention in a grotesque way. I’ve vented in chat before as I’m sure most of us have. But if someone had real intentions like that they wouldn’t be coming into a chatroom over and over again basically spamming the same thing.
 
BritishandProud said:
Kicking a chatter for talking about wanting to kill themselves shouldn't be a kickable offence!!

Maybe the staff should be caring and be a good listener to someone who feels suicidal? Kicking them would make them feel worse.

Why not be a hero and help them to NOT want to kill themselves? Be supportive and compassionate. When you're depressed you just want someone to talk to, so no...I don't think the staff should be kicking ******** for feeling suicidal - I think that's heartless.
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Mods are babysitters not Doctors or Counsellors, that is not their role at all.

If anything people who want to actually carry out the act of taking their own lives are at even more risk being online chatting to complete random nutjobs, certain mods/admins included, that don't think things through.

There is vast support in plenty of places online assisting with depression, anxiety, loss, frustration, stress etc etc that specialise in that. I totally disagree with you and think the mods should be redirecting those suffering from the afore mentioned to the appropriate place/people to get the proper advice/care they need.
 
While it's kind of hard (but not impossible) to tell wether someone's doing it purely for attention and Internet pitty points, both cases of genuine and not should be kicked, and treated as if it were real, just in case

Something that @TheEridianNinja (dunno if anyone else does) does that is a good idea, is to add a suicide prevention helpline into the kick reason, as they are people actually trained in how to handle those situations, and of they are being serious, they'll get help. And if not... well they'll be gone awhile
 
Well, I'll touch on this. We, as ChatAve Mods, are internet moderators that moderate a room full of trolls and predators. We do our best to keep the rooms safe, but its common knowledge that a lot of stuff can and does slip through the cracks.

We have had trolls before, in my very room WHILE I was modding, tell people they don't like to harm themselves or quip with a "good" when they say they're suicidal.

I've seen instances of people who are genuinely depressed or suicidal ask for help and get completely shut down by the room.

I've seen people who milk it for attention and people who don't.

At the end of the day, if someone is feeling that way, the room may not be safe for them. As someone who's been in that situation, the room can make it way worse. It's not up to us to decide if they're faking it or not, but it is up to us mods to decide how to best protect that user.

What I always do is add resources for various regions and minorities that are best suited for their specific situation. It's always a short kick (15 minutes max) to give them time to actually use those resources (since they now have nothing to do) and come back hopefully feeling 1% better.

What I will not tolerate is anyone telling someone that they are faking being depressed for attention. That is unacceptable. You, unless you have some Master's degree in Psychology I dont know about, have not had any of the proper training to decide that. You are unqualified in that field, act like it. Telling someone they're faking it will inevitably make it worse.

When I was in Freshman year, a girl saw me tic (think tourettes but nonverbal for me) and decided to comment that "tics aren't contagious" (I was friends with someone that also had them) and say I was faking them. She also said some very choice words about me probably faking my entire backstory for attention.

Ladies and gentlemen I was NOT faking tics, my backstory, or my PTSD. I went home that night feeling absolutely awful - my depression somehow having imposter syndrome (your depression doesn't think it's good enough to be depression) and that night was overall not good for me.

I think about that every time someone says they're going to harm themselves in main chat. I've made it clear numerous times that my DMs are a safe space (and generally speaking I won't kick for the whole suicidal thing if they're talking to me or a trusted friend in DMs) and I work to make sure they stay that way.

I issue warnings most of the time for talking about suicidal ideation, one of the most notable times I don't being when I log on and there's 10 reports and half of them are about it.

So to answer the question OP had: Saying you're suicidal for attention is awful. It should be kickable. However, I don't believe it is ever up to a moderator or a chatter to decide what someone else's life, backstory, and experiences are. You just don't know.

To answer the person saying it shouldn't be kickable: My job is to keep chat safe. If someone is talking in main about being suicidal, they risk trolls abusing them for it and predators attempting to use it as leverage. I cannot stand idly by for that. That's not getting into if the graphical language (or the thought itself) doesn't trigger other ******** and cause them extreme grief. Resources, small kick, as a medium-to-last resort. If other mods aren't doing this then I can't speak for them, but the Boys Chat mods have been pretty good about it.

In response to Chopper: nail on the head, in a way. If I have DMs open, that's my attention away from main. Everyone, say it with me, ✨️ don't attack mods if they don't do what you like ✨️

Regardless of the original intention of this post (which is referencing another thread I'll admit I haven't sifted through) there is something to be learned and valued here.
 
Quick glance at the linked thread and I must say, OP - for the safety of those around you, take a frigging psychology class.

You made it sound like JiGSaW was going to hurt himself if you didn't solve his riddles or some honkeydory, not someone just talking a lot about being suicidal.

Everyone is different in millions if not billions of ways. @Soapie can testify that when I'm feeling down and depressed, I literally do not shut up about how crap my life is going. I personally may not be blunt about it, but other - very real - cases do exist where people will downright say "I'm going to hurt myself" and nobody takes it seriously because "why would they actually admit it?" And then they do it. And everyone pretends they're shocked.

You're wanting to ban someone because your personal story (which, regardless of any of this - I AM sorry for your loss) doesn't align with an entire other human beings thought process.

Here are some resources that may help you understand where I'm coming from ✨️


www.samaritans.org

Myths about suicide

Understanding the facts can help you to help someone struggling to cope.
www.samaritans.org www.samaritans.org
kidshealth.org

My Friend Is Talking About Suicide. What Should I Do? (for Teens)

Have you heard that people who talk about suicide won't go through with it? That's not true. Read this article to learn some of the other warning signs that a person is considering suicide.
kidshealth.org kidshealth.org
 
TheEridianNinja said:
Quick glance at the linked thread and I must say, OP - for the safety of those around you, take a frigging psychology class.

You made it sound like JiGSaW was going to hurt himself if you didn't solve his riddles or some honkeydory, not someone just talking a lot about being suicidal.

Everyone is different in millions if not billions of ways. @Soapie can testify that when I'm feeling down and depressed, I literally do not shut up about how crap my life is going. I personally may not be blunt about it, but other - very real - cases do exist where people will downright say "I'm going to hurt myself" and nobody takes it seriously because "why would they actually admit it?" And then they do it. And everyone pretends they're shocked.

You're wanting to ban someone because your personal story (which, regardless of any of this - I AM sorry for your loss) doesn't align with an entire other human beings thought process.

Here are some resources that may help you understand where I'm coming from ✨️


www.samaritans.org

Myths about suicide

Understanding the facts can help you to help someone struggling to cope.
www.samaritans.org www.samaritans.org
kidshealth.org

My Friend Is Talking About Suicide. What Should I Do? (for Teens)

Have you heard that people who talk about suicide won't go through with it? That's not true. Read this article to learn some of the other warning signs that a person is considering suicide.
kidshealth.org kidshealth.org
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sry, but i just don't agree with you...

i dont think this person should be banned for talking about suicide, i think they should be banned for using suicide as a means to get attention...

i dont agree w/ you bc it's obvious that this person is only doing it for attention...

it's obvious bc they can go from having perfectly normal conversations w/ ppl, then as soon as those ppl stop paying them any mind they immediately start talking about suicide, & start begging ppl to pls kill them...

that's normal & acceptable to u????

ppl like this person is exactly why ppl don't take depression seriously...
 
It's hard to gage if someone is suicidal or not from a text chat (from personal experience, sometimes people are loud about it and ignored, sometimes people don't say a peep (I've lost a couple of friends to suicide and know many stories and have been suicidal myself)). Maybe the word suicide can get you bot posting a drop list of Links and phone numbers in chat?

But yeah, as mentioned it's not fair to mods to play therapist all of a sudden. A person should definitely get a time out to cool off after a message with resources. It's possible someone might be both manipulative with ideation and really be experiencing ideation.

Again, I lost my fiance to suicide so I always take it with a blanket sincerity "Here's helpful resources, find help— I have" to find that balance.
 
Chaotica_x0x said:
It's hard to gage if someone is suicidal or not from a text chat (from personal experience, sometimes people are loud about it and ignored, sometimes people don't say a peep (I've lost a couple of friends to suicide and know many stories and have been suicidal myself)). Maybe the word suicide can get you bot posting a drop list of Links and phone numbers in chat?

But yeah, as mentioned it's not fair to mods to play therapist all of a sudden. A person should definitely get a time out to cool off after a message with resources. It's possible someone might be both manipulative with ideation and really be experiencing ideation.

Again, I lost my fiance to suicide so I always take it with a blanket sincerity "Here's helpful resources, find help— I have" to find that balance.
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ur absolutely right, it's not a mod or admin's place to play therapist, & being this is the internet they should assume that someone who talks about suicide on an online community with minors is doing it purely for attention...

especially when someone talks about it, & even goes as far as to ask complete random strangers trying to has a normal conversation to kill them anytime someone isn't interacting with them, bc in that instance it couldn't be more obvious that it's only for attention...

how many times are they going to get a *cool off* just to continue to do so, & then turn around after *cooling off* to say that the mods hate them after having been told multiple times that suicide talk is against the rules?? wait til the mods log off, & proceed with doing it???

people like the subject of discussion in the thread i linked make suicide & depression out to be a joke like it's a meme, & that is sociopathic behavior that shouldn't be tolerated, like pedophila tolerating this kind of behavior puts actual lives at risk...
 
It appears this thread has ulterior motives but for what it’s worth………In Adult Chat, suicide talk is against the room rules, so this is how I handle it. If someone posts suicide talk, I warn them to stop and I also provide mental health support information to them. If they continue then I incrementally mute them. If they still continue they are incrementally kicked.
 
Two threads same topic- the one naming a user is being closed.


In General Chat, while I know each and every mod is more than capable of helping a distressed user, Removing them with a kind message to get rl support, or call 911 or such all around is what we do. There are too many trolls and twisted minds more than ready to feed, even as a topic in a general chatroom.

It's not that I want to have/see them removed-somehow that feels uncaring but it's best. Whenever possible I try and include a PM so they don't feel like a drowning person being thrown a rock.

The General Chat room rules (like a few others on site) have a section reminding ******** if they are thinking of self harm to call 911 or a health care professional.)
 
Soapie said:
That's a terrible idea
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no, it's not,

it's not the staff's responsibility to be caregiver to someone who's suicidal, it's the staff's responsibility to protect vulnerable users...

& using suicide & talking about dying for attention is exploiting those same users, which are otherwise too incapacitated with mental anguish to even seek out help... let alone constantly bring it up to total strangers who are trying to mind their own business & chat...

the most responsible thing the staff can do in these situations is assume they aren't serious, tell them to get help if they are serious, & then remove them... especially if it's someone that continues to discuss it...

TheDifference said:
It appears this thread has ulterior motives but for what it’s worth………In Adult Chat, suicide talk is against the room rules, so this is how I handle it. If someone posts suicide talk, I warn them to stop and I also provide mental health support information to them. If they continue then I incrementally mute them. If they still continue they are incrementally kicked.
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there are no ulterior motives, as someone who has experienced the aftermath of a luv'd one killing themselves, i'm sick & tired of this user in general talking about suicide for attention any time the chat stops paying them any mind...

it's inappropriate & disrespectful, i genuinely want to know everyone else's views...
 
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babydolla said:
is exploiting those same users, which are otherwise too incapacitated with mental anguish to even seek out help... let alone constantly bring it up to total strangers who are trying to mind their own business & chat...
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....so if i were to assume they were also faking it, thats gonna help them?

The best thing to do in this situation is to assume that ANYONE talking about suicide is BEING SERIOUS. and provide helplines in a kick reason, a kick issued due to these rooms not being the best place for that kind of thing.

If the person is being serious: they are removed from a toxic environment, and given the correct course of action

If their not: their gone for how ever long, and ignore the help, since they don't actually need it

Assuming EVERYONE is doing it for attention is a terrible idea, as their are people who are serious... if you Assume everyone IS SERIOUS, then the ones who actually are get the help
 
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