The chill out/warm up RP.

  • Thread starter Thread starter xobscenemetalmelodiez
  • Start date Start date
Sam shuffled in, her long slender fingers wrapped round a bottle of vodka, clutching at it as though it was all she had left in the world. Which, other than the twister mat in her other hand, it was. She scuffed her foot nervously against the floor, smiled gently and opened her mouth.
'Foursome?'
 
"Sure thang, sounds like a plan!" Scharu exclaimed before breakdancing and stabbing a nearby prostitute in the face.
 
"I can help you with that!" Scharu said cheerfully before getting out a flamethrower. After several long bursts of fire upon Sam she stopped, handed her a nun and instructed, "Right, now just apply this nun to your facial area twice a day - three times if you wanna get high off it - and in a few days, you should be fine."
 
Sam gave a curt nod as she reached for the nun. The nun backed away, looking scared, as Sam's hand came towards her. The look of fear was still apparent when the nun was a turtle, laying on her back in the grass.
"Sometimes," Sam began. "We can learn a lot from turtles. When was the last time you laid on your back and just watched the world go by?"
 
"You have a point," Scharu said thoughtfully, trying to recall the last time she had done that. "I believe it was only a few days ago, when I was totally fuсking smashes, lying on a small hill and staring at the clouds. I was playing that game where you see what each cloud looks like, and then think of a reason why you hate that thing. Yes... I was playing alone, but it's still as good, especially when drunk beyond all reason. I started to get so angry, that I challenged a cloud to a battle. That damn cloud refused to answer my questions, and so it brought it upon itself. I took out my rocket-launcher chainsaw machine and beat the living SHIΤ out of that ****ing cloud. I beat it good."

Scharu then did several back flips and kicked a passing man in the groin, before taking out a metal baseball bat and beating an old woman to death. When she was dead, Scharu placed a foot upon her, tilted her head back and screamed a war cry. She then proceeded to beat the woman into a fine paste, spread it upon a cracker and feed it to Billy, the emu with a red kangol. He seemed displeased with the taste, and so she compensated him for his troubles with some vouchers for a trip to the Moon which he sold for a pretty penny. He would have gone on the trip himself, but the Moon held some sad memories for him. As she inquired as to why he sold the tickets rather than go himself, he turned to look at the Moon hanging in the sky, a single tear rolling down his feathery cheek.

"That's just a billboard you know," Scharu pointed out, and was pecked angrily by Billy. "Fine, JESUS!"
 
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