The Vending Machine

[emileh]

You get your toenails trimmed in a very scary way

I put in a bottle of iodine

 

[-Luka]

You get a long lasting iodine tan.

I put in a giant Yorkshire pudding

 

[emileh]

You get a pot of jam to go with it cold

I put in some coriander seeds

 

[-Luka]

You get artificials since you put jam with that yorkie 😡

I put in a spoon

 

[emileh]

You get artificials since you put jam with that yorkie 😡

I put in a spoon

A bit of jam on cold Yorkshire pudding is food of the gods you philistine 😛

You get spooned by Hannah with you as the big spoon facing the dangerous end.

I put in a kitchen timer

 

[-Luka]

You get explosive eggs for that food ne’er to be spoken aboot again.

I put in a pendant.

 

[emileh]

You get a pennant and a spellchecker

I put in a box of matches

 

[Akira_]

You get a huge bonfire by the beach.

I put in a cloak of invisibility.

 

[-Luka]

You get magical powers!

I put in a cauldron

 

[emileh]

You get a huge portion of rabbit stew.

I put in a conker

 

[-Luka]

You get a back garden full of horse chestnuts to pick up!

I put in a Venus fly trap

 

[emileh]

You get some garibaldi (squashed fly) biscuits

I put in a slice of pineapple

 

[-Luka]

You get pineapple on pizza 🤢

I put in a jukebox

 

[emileh]

You get Alexandra Burke mangling alleluia on permanent loop

I put in some gorgonzola

 

[-Luka]

You get deported to Italy. That’s bowfin’

I put in a Chinese lantern

 

[emileh]

You get a bollocking from a farmer

I put in a goose egg

 

[-Luka]

Why am I getting telt aff?? lol

You get put down that chute like Veruca Salt.

I put in a bottle of white wine.

 

[emileh]

Chinese lanterns often end up in fields where they can be eaten by livestock. They also set fire to things unsurprisingly so they're an environmental menace. Aye that's you telt!

You get a hangover

I put in a tin of Vimto

 

[-Luka]

Wrist well and truly slapped. Didn’t know that at all! The more you know…

You get a sugar high.

I put in a vegan sausage roll

 

[Inkandtatts]

You get a b*tchslap for vaganising the mighty sausage roll.

I put in a real sausage roll made from a pig and pastry that contains cowjuice