The Vending Machine

[emileh]

You get a proper Cornish Pastie in return

I put in a fried egg

 

[-Luka]

You get it scrambled instead.

I put in a plastic spoon

 

[emileh]

You get a bowl of plain muesli

I put in a beech nut

 

[Inkandtatts]

You get driftwood

I put in a surfboard

 

[emileh]

You get a wipe out

I put in a pair of fins

 

[Inkandtatts]

You get @Finn2.0

I put in a goat's left ear

 

[emileh]

You get an angry goat looking for a missing ear of course!

I put in a tin of baked beans

 

[Inkandtatts]

You get a can opener (an old one that gets stuck when you try to turn it, that's caked with years old bean juice) for not specifying whether it had a ring-pull

I put in a frozen battered cod and a weed burner including gas

 

[emileh]

You get a badly barbecued fish

I put in a bottle of sake

 

[Inkandtatts]

You get egg-fried rice

I put in noodles

 

[emileh]

You get chow mein

I put in some paneer

 

[Inkandtatts]

You get cheese breath coming out the machine from me wolfing down all the paneer*

I put in an onion bhaji

*I only just realised that for some reason I'm thinking I'm in the machine

 

[emileh]

You get a keema naan

I put in a vegetable pakora

 

[Inkandtatts]

You get a gallon of mango chutney

I put in a Carolina Reaper

 

[emileh]

You get a litre of cold milk and not much sympathy

I put in a goji berry

 

[Apollo]

You get a wet smelly dog.

I put in hotdog water.

 

[emileh]

You get a suspicious looking beverage.

I put in a tin of tuna

 

[Inkandtatts]

You get a cat

I put in a Fray Bentos pie

 

[Apollo]

Your get a new background.

I put in $2

 

[Inkandtatts]

You get eternal gratitude

I put in the Olympic torch