The Vending Machine

[emileh]

You get your toenails trimmed in a very scary way

I put in a bottle of iodine

 

[-Luka]

You get a long lasting iodine tan.

I put in a giant Yorkshire pudding

 

[emileh]

You get a pot of jam to go with it cold

I put in some coriander seeds

 

[-Luka]

You get artificials since you put jam with that yorkie 😡

I put in a spoon

 

[emileh]

You get artificials since you put jam with that yorkie 😡

I put in a spoon

A bit of jam on cold Yorkshire pudding is food of the gods you philistine 😛

You get spooned by Hannah with you as the big spoon facing the dangerous end.

I put in a kitchen timer

 

[-Luka]

You get explosive eggs for that food ne’er to be spoken aboot again.

I put in a pendant.

 

[emileh]

You get a pennant and a spellchecker

I put in a box of matches

 

[Akira_]

You get a huge bonfire by the beach.

I put in a cloak of invisibility.

 

[-Luka]

You get magical powers!

I put in a cauldron

 

[emileh]

You get a huge portion of rabbit stew.

I put in a conker

 

[-Luka]

You get a back garden full of horse chestnuts to pick up!

I put in a Venus fly trap

 

[emileh]

You get some garibaldi (squashed fly) biscuits

I put in a slice of pineapple

 

[-Luka]

You get pineapple on pizza 🤢

I put in a jukebox

 

[emileh]

You get Alexandra Burke mangling alleluia on permanent loop

I put in some gorgonzola

 

[-Luka]

You get deported to Italy. That’s bowfin’

I put in a Chinese lantern

 

[emileh]

You get a bollocking from a farmer

I put in a goose egg

 

[-Luka]

Why am I getting telt aff?? lol

You get put down that chute like Veruca Salt.

I put in a bottle of white wine.

 

[emileh]

Chinese lanterns often end up in fields where they can be eaten by livestock. They also set fire to things unsurprisingly so they're an environmental menace. Aye that's you telt!

You get a hangover

I put in a tin of Vimto

 

[-Luka]

Wrist well and truly slapped. Didn’t know that at all! The more you know…

You get a sugar high.

I put in a vegan sausage roll

 

[Inkandtatts]

You get a b*tchslap for vaganising the mighty sausage roll.

I put in a real sausage roll made from a pig and pastry that contains cowjuice

 

[emileh]

You get a proper Cornish Pastie in return

I put in a fried egg

 

[-Luka]

You get it scrambled instead.

I put in a plastic spoon

 

[emileh]

You get a bowl of plain muesli

I put in a beech nut

 

[Inkandtatts]

You get driftwood

I put in a surfboard

 

[emileh]

You get a wipe out

I put in a pair of fins

 

[Inkandtatts]

You get @Finn2.0

I put in a goat's left ear

 

[emileh]

You get an angry goat looking for a missing ear of course!

I put in a tin of baked beans

 

[Inkandtatts]

You get a can opener (an old one that gets stuck when you try to turn it, that's caked with years old bean juice) for not specifying whether it had a ring-pull

I put in a frozen battered cod and a weed burner including gas

 

[emileh]

You get a badly barbecued fish

I put in a bottle of sake

 

[Inkandtatts]

You get egg-fried rice

I put in noodles

 

[emileh]

You get chow mein

I put in some paneer

 

[Inkandtatts]

You get cheese breath coming out the machine from me wolfing down all the paneer*

I put in an onion bhaji

*I only just realised that for some reason I'm thinking I'm in the machine

 

[emileh]

You get a keema naan

I put in a vegetable pakora

 

[Inkandtatts]

You get a gallon of mango chutney

I put in a Carolina Reaper

 

[emileh]

You get a litre of cold milk and not much sympathy

I put in a goji berry

 

[Apollo]

You get a wet smelly dog.

I put in hotdog water.

 

[emileh]

You get a suspicious looking beverage.

I put in a tin of tuna

 

[Inkandtatts]

You get a cat

I put in a Fray Bentos pie

 

[Apollo]

Your get a new background.

I put in $2

 

[Inkandtatts]

You get eternal gratitude

I put in the Olympic torch

 

[emileh]

You get charged with arson

I put in a roll of kitchen towel

 

[-Luka]

You get the blame for hogging the roll during pandemic.

I put in miniature hand gel

 

[emileh]

You get Trumpesque miniature hands

I put in some lip balm

 

[Apollo]

You get the sun.

I put in Covid.

 

[emileh]

Luka gets a cough 😛

I put in a bandage

 

[-Luka]

You get pecked by a chicken.

I put in a denture.

 

[emileh]

You get a cavity

I put in some epoxy resin

 

[-Luka]

You get a blown electrical fusebox.

I put in a pet carrier

 

[emileh]

You get a hissing snarling cat.

I put in a dog biscuit

 

[-Luka]

You get a spoilt yapbag chihuahua.

I put in a squeaky ball

 

[emileh]

You get chased by a pack of mental collies

I put in a silent whistle

 

[Inkandtatts]

You get muted

I put in an envelope containing exam results

 

[-Luka]

you get hermione granger shouting CHEATER in your face

I put in a Venus fly trap

 

[emileh]

You get a trapped finger being slowly digested by the plant.

I put in a corpse lily

 

[Inkandtatts]

You get 100 Glade air fresheners

I put in a pig's snout

 

[emileh]

You get a plateful of trotters

I put in a goats horn

 

[-Luka]

you get a trinket necklace made of cut goat horn.

I put in a Karen.

 

[Inkandtatts]

You get @ryrytime

I put in a mop

 

[emileh]

You get a komondor

I put in a toothbrush

 

[Creed101]

You get some Baking Soda.

An Application for Admin i put in.

 

[emileh]

You get ripped off by Bampot.

I put in a bar of soap

 

[-Luka]

You get blasted by soap bubbles.

I put in some chopped garlic

 

[emileh]

You get chased by werewolves

I put in a set of falsers

 

[-Luka]

You get my dental bill.

I put in vanilla extract.

 

[.Princessa]

You get the biggest Texas size vanilla cake for your birthday next year in 2025. Lol!

I put in a 🦩 flamingo beach towel set. What do I get?

 

[Finn2.0]

You get whipped by an entire locker room sporting wet towels. For an hour straight.

I put in a tomato

 

[Apollo]

You get spaghetti

I put my freshly used underwear

 

[emileh]

You get a bunch of strange Japanese underwear fanciers following you everywhere

I put in a millipede

 

[-Luka]

You get a half eaten plant by said millipede.

I put in a wheelie bin

 

[Finn2.0]

You get to move into one single wheel I bin with both Hannah and Jess

I put in a cat

 

[-Luka]

you get a fish box from fairy.

I put in your birth certificate 🤣

 

[emileh]

You get some crumbly old vellum and a zimmer frame.

I put in a bottle of caffeine shampoo